Conversations with Toddlers. Or: Who Really Needs Alcohol Anymore When You Get to Listen to These Two All Day?

In the car. Red and Blonde are discussing their day.

Red starts:

Well, once I got pushted down.

Weally? Who?


No. (Long pause. There was a possibility that Momsie turned left and Blonde, the litigious one, didn’t hear the blinker, so the POLICE WERE GOING TO COME AND GET ME MOMMAH, DA BLINKER!) But then:

No. Who pushted you down? (Amazing, really, that we still we able to stay with the pushing. Usually the blinker deal would have blown all possibility for details right outta there, and we would have moved on to a Momsie Has Failed theme.)

Jason. He pushted me and I went FELLING through da air.


Landed fwat on mt back.


Yep. But, it was a bouncy house, so you know. I bounced.


Who’s Jason?


It is remarkable that I remembered all of this to tell you. Sometimes I try to write it down while driving but then, I might have forgotten a blinker and then I would have ended up on an episode of Cops.

You’re welcome. You may now go on about your day.



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