Phil Rosenthal Is Going to Save the World.

Posted in Faith, family, Fathers, Food, Mothers, netflix, netflix streamteam, Streamteam NetflixKids, Uncategorized by Momsieblog

There are people in this world who just need to be watched.

I mean this in a good way. Not in a, “I see you there,” kinda way. That kind of watching is reserved for my children, and it takes a lot of energy.

The good kind of watching is easier. It brings joy. It engenders laughter.

Also, total bonus points if street food is involved.

And so, I give you this guy:

Phil Rosenthal is a Really Famous Writer. He was the creator and producer of Everybody Loves Raymond, a sitcom that I STILL watch on a weekly basis because it provides marital counseling for me and my Ray + Husband. My Rusband, if you will. We watch together and I smirk and elbow Rusband, repeatedly, because I am Debra.

Seriously. My life is simply a series of events in which I think, “What would Debra do?”

Ok, so, Phil writes stuff.

But also?

Phil eats stuff. And, we watch him while he does this. And my God, people, it fixes everything.

Here’s what I mean. Phil travels around the world. He eats things that are often bizarre and also wonderful and sometimes terrifying. While he does this, he asks a ton of questions. He doesn’t say “No, thank you, I’m full,” or “I’ll pass; I can’t tell what it is,” or “I can’t; it’s looking at me.” He has conversations over raw fish and pork bellies and some meal a guy made for him on what looks like a TV tray at the side of a bedraggled city road.

He doesn’t just eat. He inhales.

It’s an extremely simple formula. Ask. Eat. Talk. Eat some more. Talk. Repeat.

I want my family to watch this show. I think my church needs to, as well. Also, the President, and Congress, and all those shouting folks on Wall Street. And anybody in the medical profession.

And also people who make things, or run things, or run people who make things.

And anybody who works in customer support or sales. They deserve it.

And children. Not because they need it, but because they would just totally get Phil.

In my Momsie kind of world, if one part of the world was mad at another part of the world, a press conference would be held, and it would go like this:

Official-looking serious person: Ladies, gentlemen, just hold you questions please…

Reporters: We have questions! How are we gonna fix this? What do we doooooo?

Official-looking serious person: It’s simple, really. Let me introduce you to Phil Rosenthal. And yes, he really is going to save us all.

Ok, the best way I can explain the magic that is Phil is to tell you about Raymond. Stay with me here. This isn’t a needless tangent; it’s a trip to Italy.

In an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, Ray and his family are on a family vacation to the land of their ancestors. It’s a glorious trip, full of rich sights and sounds, and everybody is so excited and entranced, because Italy has special powers like that.

Everybody except Raymond.

Ray is not having any of it. He hates traveling, and then there’s his family, and, well, it’s kinda hot. And he’s tired. He doesn’t really fit in. He’s wearing shorts and white sneakers, for Pete’s sake.

And then, Phil wrote this scene where Ray, tired and grumpy, finds food.

Pizza. He finds pizza. Of course.

And it’s really really good pizza. Duh. Italy.

And you can see it on Ray’s face. He gets it. With one bite, he feels the sun, and leans against a wall, and in comes Italy. And he feels at home.

Can a slice of pizza save the world? Maybe. It did for Raymond.

So, in Somebody Feed Phil, our beloved hero travels the world and yet he brings us home. He teaches us joy and good manners, and inquisitiveness, and bravery. He instructs us that goofiness is good, and that humor is the great leveler.

He is kind. He is funny. And he manages to do all of this while still barely hanging onto the barest rudiment of foreign languages and societal protocols.

And, if Phil can do it, so can we.

It’s diplomacy, with appetizers.

As a Netflix StreamTeam blogger, I get to watch the wonderfulness that is Netflix, and then chatter about it on Momsie. It’s a great gig.

Quite Possibly, I Am the Best Wife Ever.

Posted in Blogging, Faith, family, Fathers, Food, Friday Funny, Kids speak crazy, Latent Nuttiness, Marriage, Mothers, Uncategorized by Momsieblog

First of all, the day started with me trying to give two of the three cats in our household medication.

The third one is meds free. Probably not for long, though. That’s how we roll.

And, just bear with me, this does actually pertain to the wife thing.

Anyhow, one cat in the household (Steve) is a darling fluffy fat furball of deliciousness, and he just sits on me as I put the pill in his pink mouth. Like, he sits STILL, and then he just swallows it. And purrs. Because, did I mention, Steve is JUST THE MOST ADORABLE LUMP OF FURRY GOODNESS?

Seriously. He swallows the pill. No problems. We get in; we get out. Over and done in seconds. Then, he gets up and offers to help with the laundry. (Not really, but I know, I KNOW, if he had opposable thumbs, he would.)

Perhaps all this lead-up would give you a bit of foreshadowing for how the second cat deals with medication?

Second cat: Hi! I’m all furry and purring and rubbing up against you! Cuteness is here!

Me: It’s time for your pill, Second Cat.

Second Cat: I SHALL SMITE THEE WITH A THOUSAND CLAWS.

Me: I’m ready for that. This time I have a towel.

Second Cat: THAT’S NO PROBLEM JUST LET ME GO GET MY CHAINSAW. AND SOME DYNAMITE. MAYBE ALSO A NUCLEAR DEVICE. THIS IS SO ON.

Me: I think perhaps you are over-dramatizing the whole situation, Second Cat. You could, you know, just take the pill and we’d be over this in seconds. Like, oh I don’t know… your buddy-

Second Cat: Don’t do it.

Me: Like your buddy, STEVE? The preshus?

Steve: Dude. Every time you compare me to one of the other animals, or children, in this house, you break their spirit. You know I’ve set some impossible standards here.

Ok, I promise I’m going to get to the wife thing. The issue here is that I have now been treated poorly by a cat, and my feelings are hurt. THEN, when the husband came downstairs, this happened:

Husband: Hi honey! What’s with the bandaids?

Me: DON’T SPEAK TO ME EVER AGAIN.

It’s possible I too was over-dramatizing. Forty million tiny slices from a tiny ninja cat will do that to you.

A lot of times, when you are Mom-ming, you should be able to shake it off. Like, all of it. Shake off the furry disasters, the endless laundry, the fact that no matter what I cook for dinner it always ends up being one color.

My friends, I am not much of a shake it off kinda girl.

So, perhaps, just maybe … as I was preparing the mashed potatoes for dinner, I overheard Blonde’s commentary on his dislike of such a dish:

“Ugh,” Blonde said, “I don’t LIKE mashted potatoes. They’re kinda tasteless. And squishy.”

And then, maybe… just maybe I said:

“Huh. That’s exactly how I feel about your father. Kinda tasteless. And squishy.”

I know. Tbe ninja snark is strong with this one.

After copious apologies and kisses on the husband, I then decided to add this to the menu for dinner:

Note the strategic coffee cup placement. Foreshadowing.

We had BLT’s with fresh tomatoes from my mom’s garden:

Along with squishy and tasteless mashed potatoes. And at the table was seated a husband who forgives me on a daily basis. Also present were two kids who ate a lot of bacon, after delicately removing any trace of the T or the L, and bread. And the heavens smiled.

Because carbs and bacon will solve all the world’s problems.

Problems like:

Snarkitude
Mashed potatoes (Also, add cheese. Oh my goodness.)
North Korea
Mullet haircuts
Reality television
The deep sucking void that is, basically, 2017

So we end this little tale happily.

My cats are medicated.

We’ve had our fill of pork products.

And I am, most surely:

21Sep2017

F is for Food. Stop Freaking Out.

Posted in ABC's of Life, Blogging, Faith, family, Fathers, Food, Kids speak crazy, Latent Nuttiness, Marriage, Mothers, Uncategorized, Writing by Momsieblog

Here’s a Throwback Thursday for you. Written some FOUR years ago… and you know what, friends?

NOTHING MUCH HAS CHANGED.

My life is on circular rotation, because Parenting. I still make the Pan-O-Love, by the way. It is well received. Not much else is.

So, here goes:

Screenshot 2017-09-21 10.00.26.png

The other day a friend of mine was perusing my blog, and she stopped for a minute. I know she stopped because I was obsessively watching her eyes actually move across the page and hoping that she would, you know, chortle a bit (she was eerily silent). There was not one smidgeon of chortling, but she’s, well, she’s just that way.

Anyhow, I digress.

At one point she stopped and, kind of muttered, “No…”

I tried to be all casual: “Whatttt?? WHAT is it? DID YOU LIKE IT? SOMETHING FUNNY? Or wait, bad?? Something bad? PLEASSSE JUST TELL MEEEE.”

Yep. Cool as a mint julip, my friends.

She simply nodded at the screen and said, “It’s wrong. You said you’re a lousy cook. That’s wrong. You are a great cook. You need to go back and change that.”

My friend is simply divine. She is, well, she’s the butter on my bread.

My homemade bread, ya’ll. I KNOW. I make bread, bout twice a week. Hot and crusty with just a hint of sweet, real butter all oozy and sliding around… I would go on but this is not Showtime and I don’t want to upset my pastor’s wife, who reads this once in a while.

Here are some of my greatest hits in the kitchen (cue Slow Jam music):

1. Chicken and dumplings. Oh yeeaah. Whole chicken is a must. (I scoff at you, you skinless chicken breasts! We have no place for naked breasts at our home!)

(Wow. That was kinda pushing it.)

2. Pulled pork and gravy with mashed potatoes. A subtle hint of cayenne is the secret. It does, however, resemble Alpo. Close your eyes and hoover it.

3. Double chocolate brownie/sheet cake thing. Haven’t made this in ages but really, it’s a pan ‘o love, I tell you. Snuggle up with it and a good book at night and, well, it completes you.

4. Shepherd’s Pie. You know, Jesus was called the Good Shepherd. This meal would be right up his alley, I believe.

5. Biscuits and gravy with LARD ya’ll. BOOM. I AIN’T PLAYIN’.

6. Stromboli. It’s the yummoli.

7. Sour cream and raisin pie. Frozen pie crust, you ask? Pfft. As if. This recipe is as old school as an episode of Andy Griffith, and my dad loves it. He’s waaaaay old school. In fact, there was no school for him; they hadn’t invented it yet.

8. Some weird version of chicken soup with lemon and ginger and hot peppers and cilantro. I feed it to the hubs whenever he starts sniffling, and I swear some times he fakes the snot so he can get some.

9. The best BLT this side of anywhere they sell bacon. I MEAN lo, it is just a BLT but mine stands for Baby, Leave me Ta heck alone while I eat it…

10. I need a round number so, I’ll just say it. My peanut butter balls, ya’ll. They might not be pretty, but they are chocolatey balls of goodness. I make ’em for the hubs birthdays and anniversaries and any other sort of celebration. Because, you know. You can never have too many balls.

Ok. I am a good cook.

And now, see exhibit BLONDE here on the left? See this sweet little cherub of goodness right der? Well, he is a dirty little rat that turns up his twitchy little rat nose at everything I present to him. (I KNOW… rats aren’t really known for being picky, but you get what I mean.)

Oh, the Redhead eats everything not nailed down. It’s wonderful. However, he better get a trade fast because he is creating a budget deficit in our house that is rather epic. (See previous post on Economics.)

This is how the darling Blonde responds to:

1. Homemade chicken and noodles:

Blonde one covers his mouth as if I have just placed a bowl of buzzard guts in front of him. Even just a whiff of the chickeney goodness, I guess, sends him gagging. He then proceeds to lay his forehead on the table in abject despair. All is lost. Chicken. And. Noodles. MY GOD WOMAN! HOW COULD YOU? CHICKEN AND NOODLES? I CAN’T GO ON. REALLY. DIS IS DA END.

2. Stromboli:

“I don’t care for dis. It tastes… dusty.”

I’ll show you dusty, my little blonde friend. The hubs had to intervene on that one because blonde one was about to get an education on dust (da FLOOR.)

3. Shepherd’s Pie

Blonde one: “It tastes like… butter.” His mouth is screwed on because evidently butter is the devil’s condiment. Blonde one and Jesus are good friends, I promise you, but we have a ways to go.

4. The balls. No problem. Gone. When he’s done he looks like he has a chocolate goatee. It’s whimsical.

What he will eat, with abandon: hot dogs. Of course.

So… if he had his way he would eat just hot dogs and my peanut butter balls forever, and life would be dandy. And you can just go right ahead and insert your OWN joke here because I AM NOT GOING THERE. I am far too mature for that kinda cheekiness, my friends.

<< chortle >>

* My lawyers tell me I need to insert a disclaimer here, so read this really really fast:

It’s just a teensy weensy bit possible an itsy bitsy bit of creative license was taken here. I’m not sure, but maybe.

Has anybody out there had a picky eater??? And what DOES “dusty” food taste like?

9Dec2016

Joy in the Midst of Heartache

Posted in alcoholism, Faith, family, Fathers, Latent Nuttiness, Marriage, Mothers, poetry, Recovery, Uncategorized by Momsieblog

Well, that’s a downer of a title, isn’t it?

Stay with me.

Linking up with my favorite bloggie family: Five Minute Friday.

The theme for today?

Ok, so, right now the world has that extra bit of merry and bright going on. This makes total sense. We are counting the days before our Savior’s birth.

It’s The Most Wonderful Time of Year, after all.

But, I notice a few things:

I have lights up, all over the house, inside and out. Strings of them, colored, white, all aglow, all day long.

Christmas music plays non stop. Mostly, I choose the soft, lingering melodies of George Winston. They are soft and soothing and I keep them on all the time.

I go to bed pretty early these nights, usually around 8:30. Flannel pajamas are my thing.

Next to my bed is a pile of books and my Ipad and Hershey’s kisses. I keep them stockpiled, and crawl into my bed as a sort of cozy fortress.

I take naps more often.

I make comfort food for dinner. Rich, heavy dishes with lots of calories. Salad does not happen. Chocolate happens.

I watch endless Hallmark Channel Christmas movies. My husband will not watch them with me, but the dog does. Hosmer loves the story line, mainly because they are all very similar. He’s a simple dog, with simple tastes.

I love this time of year. But, you know? It reminds me of those who are gone. It only makes me miss them the more, and I cannot think of Christmas without my brother.

Sometimes all this merriment makes it harder.

Joy to the world, the Lord has come.

So, let me receive it. Joy is deeper than all of this and the Joy Maker is through it and under it and above it.

Joy is all around.

Happiness, bliss, merriment, festivity, those might wane. We might experience a soul poverty at this time, but Joy is not from us. It’s from Him.

It makes me think of this carol, one of my favorites:

In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak mid-winter
Long ago.

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb;
If I were a wise man
I would do my part;
Yet what I can, I give Him –
Give my heart.

Christina Rossetti

I have not posted in so long, and so wanted to come in with trumpets blazing, full of fun and funny. But instead, I wanted to write about the deep joy that answers all the questions.

What can we give him? Just give Him our hearts.

21Jul2016

An open letter to funerals.

Posted in ABC's of Life, alcoholism, Blogging, Faith, family, Fathers, Latent Nuttiness, Marriage, Recovery, romance, Uncategorized, Writing by Momsieblog

I sat down to write this morning with about sixty ideas on my mind. There’s a lot out there to discuss. First of all, it’s very important that I try to figure out Pokemon Go. Mainly so I can make fun of it.

But yesterday, our family went to a funeral. And I want to talk about it. My dear friends Christy and Karl – well, Karl lost his dad. Rather unexpectedly.

Don’t you kind of hate that? How we say, “lost”? Like, he just wandered off in Walmart, somehow, and we’ve been searching for him over in the pet food section, but really, sweet Jim was just perusing the candy aisle… And it’s all just a big misunderstanding.

This is the permanent “lost.” Jim is dead. Nobody ever says it that way. I know. It sounds harsh. The truth of it, the new-reality of it is harsh too. The world has been de-Jimmed and it’s very hard.

As far as funerals go, this was a tough one. At one point, Christy, who was asked to sing one of Jim’s favorite hymns, found herself whisper-sobbing the final verse. A few women in the congregation sang it for her. I just sat there and ugly cried. It was that kind of funeral. This family has been through a lot. That’s kind of like saying that that final trip on the Titanic was stressful. They have dealt with pain and loss and just, well, aching LOSS, and it’s enough. I have received texts from Christy for months, explaining other heartaches. Other losses, and I want to text back, to both God and Christy: “Enough. ENOUGH! I think you have your QUOTA! God! Are you listening? Enough for them!”

Ok, two problems with this:

Texting doesn’t really adequately do it. When dealing with searing loss and pain a text message is like, offering an alcoholic a cup of tea in rehab. It’s sweet,the thought is kind of there, but mainly it’s JUST NOT REALLY ALL THAT HELPFUL.
God understands “enough” but it’s not like He says, Ok, I will VERY EVENLY SPLIT ALL THE BAD STUFF around with all the people in the world. I know. I kind of wish He would operate that way? But who am I to try and manage God? I can’t remember to pay the utility bill on time.
But, really, would it not be COOL to have a way to text God??? (That’s three things. I know. So, once again, really pounding home that I am not the best candidate for helping manage the world.)

So, as for my letter to funerals? Well, it would go like this:

Dear Funerals:

You are there to help us understand someone we love has gone. We don’t want to really get it, especially when the loved one has been so, well, here for so many days of our lives. He just called us last weekend, did you know? He had a joke to share. He was here, with us.

And now, he’s not.

And I guess I thank you, funerals, for helping us understand that.

But really? I want to thank you for something else.

The food. I want to thank you for the food.

I know. This makes me sound kind of like a candidate for yet another anonymous recovery group involving lots of eating, but listen. I thank you for the fudgy brownies and the pulled pork and the jello. The jello! I want to thank you for the piles of chips that my kids don’t ever get to eat at home, but get to eat at funerals. Funeral chips. They bless my children, in all their powdered, preservatived cheesy glory. Poor chip-less children.

I thank you for macaroni salad and that weird green pudding thing with the marshmallows. I thank you for coffee in styrofoam cups. I thank you for sloppy joes and lemon bars and for the Boston Cream poke cake that the pastor’s wife makes.

I thank you for lemonade and broccoli with bacon bits and crinkly paper napkins that don’t really do it when your kid is covered in barbecue sauce and cream cheese frosting.

I thank you for the sweet church ladies who cut slices of walnut cake so large they weighed the plates down as people carried them to the table, ready to slide off at any moment, heavy with glistening frosting and nuts and sweetness. I thank you for watermelon and cheesy puffs and cucumbers sliced thin, drenched with onions and sharp vinegar. I thank you for the pies, all the mysterious quivering salads that we try to eat with plastic forks.

I thank you for the look of concentration on my six-year-old’s face as he lifted a vibrating pile of orange Jello to his mouth, brow furrowed as it slips through the tines of the fork, all the while. He keeps trying.

I thank you for funeral food. Because we all sat down and talked, and ate, and Christy and I actually got to take a breath and laugh a little and share a really amazing brownie with homemade fudge frosting that was pretty much the answer to all the world’s problems.

Or not. Fudgy frosting is not the answer. Jesus is. But, for a moment, as we both nibbled at it and discussed our kids and life and parenting and just everything we haven’t been able to because we live far away… I thank you for that brownie. I thank you too for watching Karl and Brian pickup the needle of their friendship and place it right back down again where they left off (after at least two years) and chatter on about God and faith and blessings, even. Blessings. And how God has provided. Even after Karl saw his father go in the ground.

Blessings. The sweetness of the pie, after watching our fathers, and our brothers, go in the ground.

During Jim’s funeral, Karl spoke, and told us, “My dad always told his wife she was pretty,” and tears filled my eyes, up there in the church. And down in the church basement, Brian turned to me as I was shoveling something in my mouth, and said, “You look pretty.”

Probably not, with chocolate frosting competing with the lipstick, but you know. It made my eyes fill up again.Which blew the mascara, and, you know, the pretty thing was highly subjective at that point. But I believed him. I believed him. And I marveled at it – how a funeral of a good man could help me remember the good man sitting next to me.

And how funerals make us remember brothers who have died and how we miss them and how we thank God for them. And all the other things we forget to thank God for, like life, and sobriety, and small annoying children.

And girlfriends, who get our savage sense of humor, no matter what. And accept texts as the main mode of communication.

And, as God is my witness, that poke cake. I will always remember that poke cake and thank God for it. It was just basically holy.*

Thank you, funerals. For helping us to sit and talk over bad coffee for a bit. For helping us see the big picture, after all. That we all end up in a box, draped in flags or memories or both.

And that we are all so very loved. And it will all be okay.

Sincerely,

Momsie.

It is my brother’s birthday tomorrow. I miss him. And yes, it’s possible I made my friend’s father in law’s funeral all about myself. That’s my thing. I am very, very good at it. But, knowing Christy, she will smile. She’s very patient with me.

*Oh my GOODNESS, DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE? I didn’t even see it MYSELF! I PUNNED but WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT. That’s it. I have arrived. Pulitzer material, I tell you.

1Jul2014

Tuesday Takeout and Unmotivated Rhubarb

Posted in family, Fathers, Food, Mothers, Uncategorized by Momsieblog

Traveling with toddlers can be sort of like watching an episode of The Battle of the Network Stars. It starts out all exciting and kinda neato; everyone enthused and in really cute little 70’s outfits (myself included). There’s lots of music and even cheerleaders. Traveling! It’s an adventure! Howard Cosell is narrating!

But by the end of the episode? Somebody gets socked with a large red whackie thing, and we all end up in muddy water.

Which was pretty much how the Royals game ended up (four-hour rain delay + two toddlers + endless hotdogs + one overly enthusiastic husband + onslaughts of water that made my skin all pruney = GRUMPY, UNDER-ENTHUSED MOMSIE.)

: In today’s epic battle we will pit two tired parents against their nutball toddlers, in a car with only raisins for snacks and a Veggie Tales Singalong CD on repeat. Who will win, I wonder?

Here’s the thing: I think traveling is overrated. Why go anywhere when, really, we have all we need right here? Who needs to see other things? We got things? Lots of ’em.

And, as an added bonus, when we returned and unloaded our “car” (also known as the rolling container of sodden socks, Cheerios, two irritated adults who are married, yes, but not so very thrilled about it at this point, and soggy toddlers) this is what my living room looks like:

: Clearly this room has lost its will to live. It’s blurry because I’m crying.

So, we traveled. And then, when we got back I was so unmotivated to do anything I seriously contemplated a Barney marathon viewing session as a viable alternative to my Monday. And you know how I feel about Barney.

I could only fight back this general weariness with the best alternative I knew:

COOKING SOMETHING YUMMY.

I had acquired a large bag of rhubarb from a friend and I had all these glorious plans: Pie! Maybe some jam! Perhaps a cobbler!

Oh, who was I kidding. That’s baking. Baking +Momsie = despair and self-loathing.

Instead, I made this:

MOMSIE’S RHUBARB SYRUP

Chop up some rhubarb in one inch pieces or so (about 3-4 cups)

Put in large sauce pot with 1 cup water and 1 1/2 cups sugar

Add a dash vanilla or a coin of ginger or a bit of orange peel. If this makes you tired, just stick with the sugar.

Simmer gently until sugar is dissolved and rhubarb is tender (about 5 min). I suggest you taste for sugar – add a bit if needed.

Let cool and then strain out the rhubarb. (You can keep this too and use as a topping for toast if you are a crazy rhubarb lover like me.)

Voila! A pretty pink syrup to add to:

ginger ale 0r seltzers
ice cream or yogurts
pancakes
cakes (poke holes in a vanilla sponge and add, then top with whip cream. Yummo.)

Unmotivated, yes. But with good results.

Huh. This also sounds a lot like my parenting style.

26Jun2014

Throw Back Thursday and #Streamteam

Posted in Blogging, Book, literature, or movie review, Food, Latent Nuttiness, Marriage, romance, Streamteam NetflixKids, Uncategorized, Writing by Momsieblog

Once, long ago, I had a dream.

It was a slow glowing dream. All my own. Never shared it with anyone. I nurtured and lived for it, but fiercely denied it to anyone who had the guts to ask.

It was:

To be able to wear the off the shoulder sweatshirt and look like THIS:

Somehow, it never really happened. Anytime I tried to look like the above, I kinda ended up looking like this instead:

The other day I was driving somewhere, and I actually had no children in the car with me at the time. I am trying to remember where I was going, but I don’t think that was important. What WAS important was that THERE WERE NO LITTLE CHILDREN IN THE CAR. AT ALL. ANYWHERE. I WAS ALLLLLLL ALONE.

And what do we do when are alone, the few, the proud, the Momsies?

Well, naturally, we contemplate, for just a second or two, that we could just. Keep. Driving.

Once we acknowledge that is a bit crazysauce, we do the next best thing: we sing. Like, we CELINE sing. We Whitney it.

So, Irene Cara’s “What a Feeling” came on the radio, and of course, I started out with a few slow jazz hand movements to slow everybody down a bit (the imaginary audience was all heated up from the previous Footloose number) and then, I grabbed the mike (steering wheel) and proceeded to belt it OUT. I OWNED it. Wrapped that number up and sold it to the highest bidder, I tell you.

I almost cried. I mean, honestly, “What a feeling! Being’s believing! I can have it all, now I’m dancing for my life!!!”? That is good stuff. Solid Gold.

I did injure myself when I tried to do a bit of a head snap with the chorus (“I am music now!” Sing it with me ladies!), but some Icy Hot healed that right up. So back to dancing right through my life!

I am thinking I might even start to rock this ensemble:

However, without the snake. And it’s possible I might wanna wear some baggy pants after, say, 30 seconds of the shiny slippery wedgie thingies. But hey, I kinda get why everyone is on their tippy toes. Those wedgie things make one want to elevate oneself as much as possible! Which, we all know, elongates the leg! Because leg warmers certainly don’t.

Yea, I don’t really know why the snake’s in there either. Go with it.

Anyhow.

Lately it has been pretty clear that I might benefit from a little time away. (Lawyer inserts here that a huge, collective, “You DON’T SAY?” from the audience might be good.) Work has piled itself upon my head with a sturdy clunk, and so have my sweet toddlers. Even the cats are needy and mewling all over me all the time, and I generally like their little furry fishy faces, but lately?

MOMSIE NEEDS SOME ALONE TIME.

And this is where my buddy #Netflix comes in. I am a #Streamteam blogger, and recently I have found myself hoarding our cue for my special Momsie movies.

Movies like:

And (of course):

Nobody puts Momsie in a corner!

At any rate, most of these lovelies are my guilty pleasure – I watch them with my cinnamon toast popcorn and cherish the peace and quiet. But Flashdance? For some reason, I thought Flashdance might make a good Date Night Movie.

And so here’s how that conversation went:

Me: Wanna watch a movie tonight?

Hubs: Sure! I uploaded 8 new Star Trek episodes!

Me: No, I was thinking…

Hubs: What? A Blue Bloods marathon?

Me: Well…

Hubs: We could watch the highlights from the college world series together! Romannic!

Me: Um…

Hubs: No? Ok. I have a documentary on aircraft carriers…

Me: Oh for Pete’s sake. Never mind.

We watched the aircraft carriers one. It was pretty awesome, actually.

And I hunkered down with Flashdance later, just me, my codependent cats, and the popcorn. The next day I broke into the “Maniac” dance at intermittent points whenever my children started to get on my nerves.

Because, as we all know:

Cinnamon toast popcorn:

Ingredients

1/2 cup popcorn kernels
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, or coconut oil melted
2 teaspoons sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
salt to taste

Directions

Pop the popcorn according to the package directions.
In a large bowl, toss the popcorn and melted butter or coconut oil.
In a small bowl, combine the sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle over the popcorn and toss.
Add salt to taste.
Don’t share. Eat it all alone while you’re watching your own guilty pleasure.

Enjoy!

CC courtesy of F_A seelensturm at flickr

Momsieblog

Motherhood is hard. Laughter is easy.

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