Put Some Rubies on That Mom Bod

Linking up with my favorite people at Five Minute Friday today!
The theme?

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There is a mom here at the pool who is in a bikini. It’s flamingo pink and she is tall and slender, and I think, but I’m not sure, she has a six pack.
I am not exactly sure because I need to stop staring. Staring is rude.

It’s just… a six -pack? Really?

I, meanwhile, am sitting over here in the concession stand area, amongst the candy wrappers and fifty-thousand flip flops and towels, and wondering where my six pack went. It’s been lost for a while.
Forever. It’s been lost forever.

She is also very tan. A nice golden glow.

I am not golden. I am more like a connection of freckles.

I know what you’re gonna think. You’re gonna think I’m going to go all “You go, mommies! No matter what size or shape or pack or lack of pack, you rock it, sister!”

And you’d be right. Sort of.
The interwebs is full of Go Mama Go posts, which is fine and dandy and kind of wonderful, for the most part.

But, it’s really kind of nice for me today because, I am actually there, already caught up with the words.

Don’t you ever wonder, with all the instagrams and facebooks and tweetings about Go Mama Go, if ever there might be a time… that the writers might be saying it so they can feel it too? Like, the words provide the comfort, retrospective-wise?

Oh. Just me? Ok.

I have done this. I have written, in hopes that the feelings would come.

Because, maybe, one of the laws of blogging is:
If You Write It, It May Come.

Or something like that.

(Another law of the bloggings? Don’t obscurely quote movies in your text.)

I am comforted by my blog, and you guys, and words that heal. But today? (Who knows how I will feel about all this tomorrow, but for now, thank you) I am comforted by the fact that I am ok-ish in my momsuit. Because I am dearly loved and beautiful and more precious than rubies.

Just let those words sink in. They are more than a comfort.
They heal.

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Momsie as Beauty Blogger is Back! And She’s All Glowy.

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Guys. Remember when I got all beauty blogger on you? It was not my typical genre, I know. But HOLY COW IT WAS WORTH IT.

Here’s why:

  1. I am (air quotes) “getting older.” This means (air quotes) “Things are not the same as when I was 20” and, also, (air quotes) “Chocolate doesn’t fix it.”
  2. As much as tea and sympathy would be nice for aging, that doesn’t really fix the whole (air quotes) “Things start going south because gravity is stronger than hope” thing.
  3. In short, (big, fat air quotes) IT’S HELL GETTING OLD.

No. Noooooo, dial it down, Momsie. We’re supposed to embrace our bodies, and love the skin we’re in… but I would kinda like to make my skin perk up and pay attention a bit better.

It’s not hell getting old. It’s wonderful. It adds wisdom to the already pretty awesome mix that is Momsie, but you know what? If I’m gonna be able to add something to Momsie that makes my skin glow? YES PLEASE. PLEASE ADD THAT TO MY GETTING OLDER LIFESTYLE RIGHT NOW.

Columbia Skin Care uses “Our patent pending probiotic formula — the world’s first for topical skin use —  is comprised of probiotics (‘good’ bacteria) plant stem cells and peptides (amino acids), all of which uniquely combine to enhance the skin’s natural ability to renew itself.” (click here for more website information)

I received two products from the company: The probiotic complex and a more serum-like concentrate. I used both products daily for over thirty days. What I’m seeing is SO COOL.

I have increased elasticity, and less crepey skin. I have tighter skin around my neck. I have, in my opinion, MARKED RESULTS, and this is really quite a find for me. Let me explain. As I walk down the aisles packed full of products that promise to Lift, Renew, and Bamboozle the aging process… products that shout, “Try this and DENY aging altogether! In fact, just SMACK AGING IN THE ARSE! THIS JAR WILL DO THAT, WE PROMISE!”  I tend to smirk.

The smirking has decreased with this product. Granted, I don’t look 22 again, but really?  I wouldn’t want to go back to 22 anyhow. 22 was NUTTY.

So, I’ll live,right here in my 46 year old skin, and glow on.

Would you like a special offer? Got to:
http://bit.ly.2jEEG4B for the specific product page on ColumbiaProbiotics.com

Purchase either probiotic product, and receive a FREE moisturizing cream, a 38$ value!
Use code: ProbioticGift at checkout.

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This is a sponsored post by #ColumbiaSkinCare #probiotics.

 

 

 

 

Skin care, getting older, and bras.

A few weeks back, Columbia SkinCare sent me a new line of products for me to try and review. I thought two things:

  1. I am no beauty blogger. No, my friends. I know this comes as a shock to you, but the concept of strobing for me is something that happens at a rave. Raves are weird dance party things that I might have gone to when I was young and stupid. There was a lot of thumping music and people dancing like they were having seizures. And strobe lights, of course.
  2. Holy freckles. I’LL TAKE ALL THE HELP I CAN GET.

Ok, as you may know, last I checked I am… Well, you know. How can I say this…

I’m… leaning delicately toward middle age.

Oh heck, I drove past middle age about three years ago. I’m a forty-ish mom of two kids under nine years old. I’M OLD AND TIRED.

It’s ok. Acceptance is key.

So, today I’m posting my first in a short series (because, let’s face it, beauty blogging and momsie go together like… rottweilers and pink doggie tutus that you buy at those expensive doggie clothes boutiques.)

Enjoy. Don’t worry. Stay tuned for your regular programming. My posts about how my children are maddening and adorable. Coming soon, I promise. My children will do something maddening and adorable any minute now and I’ll write about it.

But now I give you…

Squeaky Voiced Momsie and Her New Career as Beauty Blogger Extraordinaire

Friday Funny

Due to today's topic of AGING, I have inserted a sweet picture of two rocking chairs.

Due to today’s topic of AGING, I have inserted a sweet picture of two rocking chairs.

Recently, a dear friend of mine had a birthday. I haven’t asked him yet if he could be the subject of my post today, so we’ll call him…

Carl Oscar Isaacson.

It was rather well-aged birthday.  Like a nice cheese.

My friend will remember his birthday, and many more.  But he got me to thinking about aging…  how all those women with great bone structure tell you on the tellie to “fight” it and “combat” it and “lift” “spurn” and “DEFY” it.  I kind of wonder if those ads would just be a bit more forward and use additional words like: “hoist” and “heave” and “sag” and “plaintitive cry.”

Aging sounds like the flu.

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Anyhow.  Carl is a non flu type in his “golden years” (I think this means “Old-ish” but I used my thesaurus to be kind).  He is superannuated, yes, but he is hilarious.  And young.  And has more energy than my toddlers.  And full of LIFE.  And I doubt very much that he has ever thought to “DEFY!” aging.  Madeleine L’Engle said, “The great thing about getting older is you don’t lose all the other ages you have been.”  Carl would agree, I think. (Like I said, I don’t know…  he hasn’t been updated on the fact that he is my topic today, but he’s pretty mellow.  I think.)

Happy Birthday sweet friend.  The following is for you (saucy language and all).  Cheers.

CARL??  YOU READING THIS? YOU NEED TO CLICK ON THE PICTURE BELOW TO SEE THE POEM, OK?  CAN YOU HEAR ME?  OR YOU CAN ALSO CLICK ON THE “A POEM ABOUT GETTING OLD” CAPTION ABOVE THE PICTURE.  THE PICTURE OF THE PEACEFUL DOCK ON THE LAKE?  RIGHT?  YOU SEE IT?  I WAS TRYING TO MAKE IT AS SIMPLE AS POSSIBLE.  I KNOW WHAT TROUBLE YOU GEEZERS HAVE WITH THE GREAT AMERICAN WORLDWIDE INTERWEBS. *

A poem about getting old

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*(small voice)  Don’t fire me, Carl.