It was my son’s 5th birthday recently. (I was gone. I know. Next post will tell all. “J” is for leaving on a Jet plane and please don’t Judge me).
Here’s the deal:
It’s Fall, my favorite time of year, but also the time of year when I have three birthdays with three birthday cakes, Halloween costumes to create, our town’s Swedish festival (more costumes, only Swedish, a bit of a quandary), and probably something else that’s all creative and such, but I forget. I’m stressed. And all I know is every time I go on Pinterest for ideas something inside me dies a little.
Especially because – Birthday cakes, ya’ll. Birthday cakes freak me out.
Let me explain how my (nutball) head works:
Head: Let’s start a project! Yea!! Something crafty! You are sooooo crafty!
Actual Ability: Girl. Move away from the crafty. You don’t got this.
Head: Here we gooooo with the crafty! Makin something FAB-U-LOUS!! This is gonna be soooo awesome!
Actual Ability; Do I have to remind you about the chalkboard paint incident?
Head: That? Nah… And look! Glitter! Sparkly…
Actual Ability: Sigh. I warned you. Shall I call your therapist now or wait until you start to really see-
Head: Holy crap. This kinda looks like poo.
EXHIBIT A:
EXHIBIT B:
I tried. I really did. But eventually, I just ended up with this:
Here’s the deal. If you really want to make something cute this Halloween, throw some candy corn on it. Candy corn is cute. And if you’re like me and like to, um, sample those little nuggets of pure corn syrup while baking, the sugar fix will hit you so fast you won’t even notice cute or not after about three handfuls of these suckers.
OR: you can do this: (Sent to me via my sister, who felt sorry for me with my lack of craftiness. She is the crafty one in the family, not me. Thanks sis. 😉
Dana Bowman 
Dear dana, Laughed so hard my acid reflux nearly killed me! (From eating 2 handfulls of crack cocain candy corn which I keep in a gallon sized clear glass pumpkin COOKIE Jar!) Jeff also loved this and PRINTED IT OFF FOR MOM AND DAD! As I have said before you are famous….and my actual O:) skull cup cakes DID NOT turn out per pic! So glad you called this morning and I love you :-*
Sent from my Sprint phone
Momsieblog wrote:
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Oh Lordy, this is still just as funny today as it was when I first read it yesterday!! You already had me guffawing at the conversation between Head and Actual Ability (which ended with the lovely pun in “holy crap, this looks like poo” – ha). And then I laughed when I saw the actual photos, because I would sooooo have had the same net result. But best of all was the “honey toddler don’t care.” Gotta be honest, did a spit-take on that one. Loved. It.
By the way, after lurking around your blog I feel like I should step forward and introduce myself (“Hi, I’m Heather – long time reader, first time commenter”)….I am friends with your dear pal Christy and found your blog when she posted a link to it on FB. I am totally digging it and love seeing whenever you have a new post. She swears you are as awesome in person as your hilarious blog posts, and I don’t doubt her one bit! One of these days I hope we can actually meet in person. Y’all come to the City sometime, and I’ll take you girls to lunch!
You’ve got a fan in Kansas City. Keep on writing, sister!
Well thank you! I love that you are a first time commenter, long time reader. Makes me feel like Frazier. 🙂 I loooooove that you love the blog. It’s medicine for my soul, really, to write at it every day.
Always remember: Honey toddler don’t care. Ha! Thank you so much for your kind words.