Tuesday Takeout

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The following is a true story:**

Phone rings:

Momsie: Ye-llo!

Friend:  Hi there. Wanna come over for a Christmas party? There will be food.  And grown up people.  And you can eat food while you talk to grown up people. You won’t have to wipe off anyone.

Momsie:  Well…  I had already taken off my bra.  And I have sweat pants on…

Friend:  No one will notice.  Especially about the bra thing.

Momsie:  Yes. That’s true.

Friend:  And did I mention that we have a Wii and a huge basement and all the children will be down there so we can talk like normal people in the living room?

Momsie:  Wow. Really?  Well, I guess I could go find my bra…

Friend: And there’s a lock on the basement door.

Momsie: I’ll be over in 20.

Here’s the only problem (every good story needs a conflict, as all my students would chime in):  I needed to bring something.

Here were my options:

Tuna salad (Leftover, in ‘fridge two days.  I think.  Very brown.)

One very shriveled, geriatric Clementine

Some vanilla creamer and a cheese stick for stirring

A home made and tasty baked good.  Don’t even get me started.

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(Cue Barry White chucka bow wow music.) “Well… hello there… I’m hazelnut butter. Do you come here often?”

MOMSIE’S NO FAIL RECIPE FOR WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING IN THE PANTRY** :

Chocolate Hazlenut Grahams  (Boom.)

Ingredients (of which there are THREE.  Double boom):  graham crackers, chocolate chips, hazelnut spread (or any sort of nut butter)

Melt chocolate chips  – I prefer double boiler but the partay was waiting.  I set them for 30 seconds in the microwave.  Stir.  Repeat.  Do NOT burn them.  This will bring tears and frustration and it smells like Willy Wonka died in your kitchen.  Stir diligently until chocolate is warm and glossy – the more you stir, the more you are “tempering” the chocolate, creating a bowl of gleaming, chocolate goodness.

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Spread a thin layer of the hazelnut wonderfulness over the grahams.  Try not to let spread drip down over sides – be sparing.  A cool spread helps – but don’t put in fridge for too long.  If your grahams are too chilly it can make the chocolate seize up. This is VERY BAD.

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Dip the grahams in the chocolate goodness!!  I put in two at a time, use a fork to splosh it over the top, gently remove and place lovingly on wax paper.  Gaze at them with adoration.IMG_0122

Pop in the ‘fridge or cool place for 10- 20 minutes.

The glossiness will go (you can add a bit of butter to your chips to help with this, but I have never really had much luck with that).  But – the delishness will STAY.  Crunchy, salty, creamy, rich, chocolately.  Milk is a must.

Set ’em down on the buffet (Use a nice white plate for contrast.  Yep.  Back OFF, Martha Stewart, that was my idea.)  Watch people zombie over and start stuffing them down.  They will groan for more.  You are da bomb.

Who has grahams, chocolate chips, and some peanut butter in their pantry today?  You DO?

You’re welcome.  (*drops mike*).  😉

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*Sort of.  I guess. I’m not sure.  My lawyer is informing me that it might have been possible that I just forgot about the party. Until like 30 minutes before.  I’ll give it my best Ollie North and say, “I don’t recall.”

**Also there’s this:  My editor informed me that initially I had left out the “R” in the word, “PANTRY.”  So.

That would be a whole different type of post for another day.

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