6:37 am. Daylight savings was created by people who never had children. Here it is Monday – coming right at me an hour early. The husband goes to work, we have to deal with the carnage of the weekend (ratio of cat toys I painfully step on in the hall on Mondays to Fridays: 4:1), but I somehow am still TOTALLY STOKED TO CONQUER PARENTING OF TODDLER CHILDREN. (It is possible all this joie de vivre is due to the extra ginger in my smoothie. We’ll see.)
7:32 am: I have spoken more to my two toddlers in the past hour than I used to do in a week when I was pre kids. I have explained how potty should go down, not up (key emphasis on the word “should“), rationalized nutball behavior (mine), and dialogued about the kitty needing some alone time or he might kill somebody. There was also a bit panel discussion on whether the honey that I smeared on two slices of toddler toast was EXACTLY EQUAL.
7:33 am: My cold coffee is safely returned to its home, the microwave. I wonder if I hum the theme to The Shining whenever the wee ones talk to me that maybe they would go away.
7:34: The humming thing only served to totally freak me out.
7:35: So… not quite so stoked about Monday.
Today’s manuscript is from a friend of mine that I met a few years back at the Kansas Voices writing contest. I had received honorable mention for a short story, and Jamie had placed for one of her poems. When she read her piece, I thought, “She is a kindred spirit, this woman. I must befriend her on the great Facebook and then, three years later, end up posting stuff about her on my blog. Plus, she has really awesome red hair.”
Jamie is a wife, and a mom, and a teacher, and a runner. I bet she is an over-microwaver of her coffee. Like I said, kindred spirits.*
She is also a great poet, and has been published twice in the I-70 Review – a literary magazine I have been TRYING TO GET INTO FOR TWO YEARS.
(There is no jealousy in writing, only endless, late-night, angst-filled, over analytical comparison. And whining.)
I digress.Mothers’ Conversations
Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a while, I wanted to see how
Honey, mommy’s on the phone.
Katie was feeling? What did the
You just had a snack.
doctor say? Yeah, huh. I wonder
Yes, you did, you had fishy crackers.
if that’s what Christy’s boy had
You can have water, no juice.
and they finally figured out it was his diet.
The blue cup is in the dishwasher.
Some kind of allergy I guess. Well, I hope she
No, I’m not going to wash it right now.
feels better soon. Oh, I think we are going to try
You can use the red, yellow or green one.
and get a group together in late June. Just a couple
Put the blue cup back, honey, it’s dirty.
of nights away. Can you imagine how fun
Stop screaming, it’s right here. I’ll wash it really quickly.
it would be? Nothing fancy, just a cabin near the lake.
Can you sit at the table with your drink?
I think we’ve got the grandparent’s scheduled
Hold on I’ll get a towel.
to be here. After what happened last time
Remember gentle pats on the puppy.
we had to convince them that he’s really getting
No, we aren’t going to paint today.
better as he gets older. He’s just high
No, the puppy doesn’t need a bath.
spirited, right? Or it’s just the age? At least that’s what we
Why did you get the towel?
keep trying to tell ourselves or else I’m not sure we
Oh, God, I’m going to have to call you back!
-Jamie Lynn Heller 05/2011, 02/2013
If you would like to visit Jamie’s blog and read some more of her gorgeous words, click here.
*If I find out later Jamie does not like coffee I don’t know what I’ll do. Those people are crazy.