If at first you don’t succeed… blah blah blah.

Linking up with my people today at Five Minute Friday.

But, I don’t want to.

My fingers are tired. So is my head. Yesterday I had a meltdown so epic with my kids that even the dog left my side for a whole ten minutes. Which would have been kinda nice because honestly being followed constantly by Mr. clicky toenails guy is a bit annoying, but not in this case. In this case, I felt major dog-mom guilt. And basic mom guilt. Just, guilt. Loads and loads.

The theme for today, you ask?

 

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Good one FMF. I see what you’re doing there.

Ok, so pretty much every single free minute of my existence has been spent writing The Big Fat Second Book.

Here are some facts:

  1. That which won’t kill you will make you stronger. Maybe.
  2. It’s always darkest before the dawn. Or all day. Take your pick.
  3. If at first you don’t succeed, oh just put a sock in it.

Brace yourself. Whining is coming.

WRITING ABOUT HARD THINGS IS HARD. The past three chapters have been about hard things (good news! it’s still funny! don’t forget to pre-order!!! it will still be funny!). The hard things are there because Newsflash: LIFE IS HARD.

That’s kinda the premise of the whole book, actually. Dana finally figures out how HARD life is and she writes about it. I know, right? Should be a bestseller. I can just see the droves of people at the Barnes and Nobles:

“I can’t WAIT to read this book! It’s all about how life sucks the life out of you and is so very hard!”
“My gosh, that’s totally new information to me! I must read about it! It sounds wonderful!”

Perhaps I’m being a bit hard on myself here, but words are all stuck up in my craw and it’s making me… what’s that word for when you are upset and want to hit things?

Anyhow. The other day I broke our coffee grinder because I dropped it. It was a really nice coffee grinder and I hate hate HATE it when I break things. I also hate it when people say, “Oh well. I’ll just go buy another one,” because that just seems wasteful and the poor kids in India who made the coffee grinder probably could use a break. But, I really do LIKE ground coffee. It makes my heart sing a little. So – I was all smart and good for the environment and I bought a cheap little hand grind grinder thingie on the Amazons. Boom! I can work out my arms and save money AND electricity! I AM SAVING THE EARTH AND ALL THE THINGS!

Guys. To grind about one cup’s worth of beans takes forty five minutes.

Well, maybe not quite that many but it feels like it. I ground and ground and ground and… ground and ground… and ground… and checked and ground and ground…

I WANT MY ELECTRIC GRINDER BACK.

All of this is to say: keep trying. Don’t give up. Don’t give up on yourself as a momma, and also as a really bad hand-crank coffee bean grinder person. Because, you know, I am KEEPING that #@@%$ grinder and I’m gonna crank the ##$$ out of it. JUST KEEP GRINDING THE BEANS.

And, you, my sweet children, I will keep trying. I will come up to you and say “I’m sorry. Please forgive me?” and you will reach your little arms around my neck and we will all keep trying. We have to. We’re stuck with each other.

And YOU, book. Yea, I’m talking about you. I will keep trying. I will. I will write about the hard things and the funny things and dance around the parts that I think sound like the world’s worst writing since the history of writing, and I will not give up.

Or, as my son put it: “I forgotted yesterday anyhow, Momma.”

Press on.

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7 thoughts on “If at first you don’t succeed… blah blah blah.

  1. MOMSIE! Keep going so I can make pretty graphics of quotes from your book I love and spam Instagram with them. 😂 also, you’ll have to come to a Barnes and Nobles here so I can be like, “THIS WOMAN IS HILARIOUS, people. I mean you are waiting in line for her to sign this book about how life sucks and there’s a 105% chance you’ll laugh and Jesus will be involved. So you know it’s gonna be good. Jesus. Laughter. Momsie. I mean, Dana. So keep waiting people! But let me in a second, Go MOMSIE!” 😂 that would be so bold of me, like wayyy. But it’d be hilarious.
    Honestly, keep going! I love you and the world needs more laughter (and okay, how you overcome the sucky parts of life) from you. ❤️

      • Yes, I will! We can give away shirts to the anyone who buys the books–go Momsie for all the moms and Dadsie (may need to work on it) for all the guys who buy it for their wives. But yours will be set apart with glitter and a monogram of your cat, Steve. (That’s his name right?) 😂 thank you for making mine.

  2. I’m sitting at a cabin in the mountains, on my dream vacation, with dozens of waterfalls within twenty miles, and unable to see a single one because I broke my foot one week before the trip. So instead I’ve enjoyed the view from the porch, and I’ve learned a few things about my new camera, and I’ve written a lot. And you’re right: life is hard. But you made me smile—no—laugh. Thank you.

  3. Have you snuck into my head somehow? I have yet to break our coffee grinder but I echo your reaction. And the struggle to keep climbing up that hill. Every. Single. Day. I really appreciate your thoughts and encouragement. And keep banging out the words on your book. People need to hear your words!

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