I am back at my Kansas City coffeeshop, my little favorite happy place – Homer’s Coffee House.

It’s my home away from home. Only it’s three hours away. We are “almost” home from our family vacation, which means we are hanging with the grandparents in Overland Park for a few days.

means, I have escaped for a few precious hours to write and catchup with about fifty million emails.

I don’t even have time to be funny today, y’all. There is too much going on to be funny. THIS IS SERIOUS.

Ok, so in the past few days I have: travelled across the continent, swam in the ocean, took breezy pictures aboard a schooner and kinda felt all super modely, and then ALSO tried to keep up with marketing for the new book and I have a publicist and also the Today Show is coming.

I know, right. Like I said. THIS IS SERIOUS.

The Today Show thing is for Today.com and they are COMING TO MY HOUSE which, if you know me at all, means I am at Def Con Level 5 on the Holy Cow Is This Really Happening Let’s Panic at the Dana a Bit.

As for marketing, I keep getting really nice emails from my publicist. Ones like:

“So, are you back from vacation yet? Hope you are having fun. But also I need about four things from you, so could you, please, answer your emails?”

To which I respond, “Maine does not have wifi. I am so sorry.” And I write the stuff and send it back while I am on a plane wedged next to Red who likes to squirm so much in his chair it’s basically like sitting next to a bouncy castle with freckles.

But really people? All that is nice and dandy and exciting, but what I really want to tell you is this:

I DID GOAT YOGA. I DID. I REALLY DID. I HAVE ACHIEVED PEAK HUMAN.

“Dana,” you say, “What, pray tell, is this thing called goat yoga?”

Well, let me tell you.

It’s yoga.

But with goats. 

Not with the goats doing the yoga, so much, but more like as an accoutrement. Like, you’re doing the yoga, but then a wee goat wanders by and nuzzles you WHILE YOU’RE DOING YOGA. IT’S A WONDERFUL WORLD.

So, while in Maine, my friend Bethany tells me on my first day there: “Say, would you like to go do goat yoga at Sunflower Farms Creamery with me? It’s tonight at 5:30, and there will be kittens too.”

And I started quivering.

I made my boys come too. They were a bit suspicious of all of this but there were goats and kittens! In a field! In Maine!

I tell you, people. It was magical. Otherwordly. There are more things in heaven and earth, Momsie, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

There were other things we did in Maine, yes. And I will post about them I promise because they were kinda cool. Maine has stuff. That’s true. But for now? I shall leave you with this. FYI: ALL PHOTOS WERE TAKEN BY THE LOVELY AND TALENTED BETHANY SMART.

THE RUNNING OF THE GOATS:

 

Also:

I KNOW, RIGHT?

AND:

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE:

IT’S A FLIPPING GOAT ON A YOGA MAT, PEOPLE.

OH, AND:

I CAN’T EVEN.

AND FINALLY:

Yes, I was teary. I don’t know what happened to me. It’s like those goats just came at me, and I just couldn’t handle it. The world was too gorgeous and soft and furry for me to handle. So I cried at goat yoga. No judgement.

I will never ever forget the running of the goats. Never.

Life is magical.

 

(Oh, and also? Small side note: Hope, the wonderful mistress of the goats, makes goat CHEESE and it’s so good. Like, it’s eat-it-with-a-spoon good. We put it on flatbread with carmelized onions and holy goats, it was ALSO magical. But not as magical as the yoga. If perhaps a goat had walked by with a tray of goat cheese and some crackers while I was doing downward dog in the field in Maine? That might have topped it. But then, also, that would have been weird. Reel it in, Momsie.)

BE THE GOAT. 

(Go ahead, click it for a special goat surprise. 🙂