This is my brain on quarantine


This was my brain before All This Stuff Happened: *

By the way, I googled “brain image” and this is the first thing that popped up. Google clearly has a cheery agenda.

And this is my brain now:

Any questions?

*Clears throat. Raises hand* Uhhhh yea, I gotta question? Can you tell me when this will all be ov-


And yes. That’s how I hold a press conference in my brain, folks. It can be done.

I meant to post this on Monday, but I got distracted by the Mondayness of Monday and then Tuesday just came at me all out of nowhere with its sameness to Monday and more synapses were left by the wayside. In fact, I meant to post this by ten am today, and it’s around two now. I got distracted by… nothing really. There’s really nothing new. But whatever it was it was really flipping good at its job.

Things that Distract Me Right Now:

  1. I don’t… I don’t know actually. There’s a lot of them but I don’t really know what they are.
  2. Air?

My brain has become all mushy and sad but also hyper aware and industrious, all at the same time. It’s gotta wide range. My brain is Meryl Streep.

For example, on Good Brain days I redid two rooms in our house. This is the kids’ play room, now with a gallery wall. I put a freaking gallery wall in their play room. We are a sophisticated bunch.

Also, I painted my laundry room a very cheery yellow and red. The laundry room is where I spend 87% of my existence and where, sometimes, I contemplate my life’s choices, so the red really adds a pop of color to that.

And, I bake all the time. Here are some corn muffins. The humble corn muffin is, in my opinion, totally underrated in the carb world.

Also, I made homemade yogurt which means I have achieved Peak Human.

I do all these things for about three days straight. Then, on the fourth day my brain calls in sick and my synapses forget to fire and the best I can do is stare into space a lot and watch videos about dogs getting adopted. Or dogs reuniting with their military fathers. Or military dogs coming home from the war and adopting cats. Or something.

These fourth days are the worst. I can’t focus. I can’t finish things. I keep getting up and walking around. This morning I put on my glasses while I had another pair perched atop my head. That’s a visual that pretty much sums up my brain functions these days.

And I keep wondering, do you have the same problem? It’s not just me, right?

I am in a fifth day right now, which means I am still foggy. I still feel like I’m laying underneath something large, and not in a cozy way. More like in an easily distracted Mom-worm-under-a-big-rock way.

But… I did write this post. And later, I will be making dinner. As far as what goes on in between that? Anyone’s guess. Probably some dogs.

And so, in conclusion

Oh look my dog ate my yoga mat and it looks like baby Yoda

  • *Before All This Stuff = Midwestern for COVID-10

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