Halloween: Keep It Silly and Safe, With Netflix

Oh how I used to love scary movies.

Then, I had children. And I was faced with much more scary things, like never sleeping, or the McDonald’s play zone.

Also, life is scary enough. I’m talking to you, 2017.

At our house, we have a rule: We don’t do creepy for Halloween. We’ve been astronauts, and superheros, and Charlie Brown and Snoopy… and yes, now that the boys are getting older, we’re Darth Vader and Kylo Ren, which is a teensy bit scary. But, there are no bloody machetes, or zombie guts, so I’ll take it.

What I’ll also take is this movie, every Halloween, as I answer the door and divvy out the goods. I always watch it, every Halloween.  It’s just a wee bit scary, I guess. But mostly? It’s hilarious. It’s one of those films that I tend to quote, all the time, to anyone who will listen. I can’t help it. Thank you, Netflix, for streaming this classic:

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Somehow, this movie helps balance out all the zombies with bloody machetes that come calling.

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Halloween is a lot of fun, and my boys have been looking forward to it since, I don’t know, April? We’ve been busy working on our costumes, and insisting that we buy the good candy (#TeamReeses) Which is all find and dandy, but that just means we break into it at least a week before the actual holiday. Quality control, I guess.

Netflix is also helping out with your trick or treating plans. The Skylanders offer up some helpful hints to make sure the night goes happily for all:

Whether you dress-up as a heroic Skylander or an evil Doom-Raider this Halloween, it’s important to stay safe as you fill your trick-or-treat bag with yummy candy. Spyro and his heroic team are busy making their costumes, but everyone’s favorite evil genius Kaos has taken a break from being bad to share some Halloween safety tips with you. Be sure to share this video to make sure everyone has a scary good time while trick-or-treating!

Happy Halloween, from Momsie (who always, and forever, will dress up as a very non-creepy and totally bad@ss Princess Leia), and Netflix.

 

May your night be spook-free, and sugar-laden.

 

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As a Netflix Streamteam blogger, I get to watch the awesomeness that is Netflix, and then chatter about it on my blog. It’s a great gig.

 

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Throw Back Thursday and Tiny Stormtroopers

Halloween is nigh, my friends, and it seems we have chosen Star Wars as the theme.

Huh. Like I couldn’t have seen that coming.

This year, sweet Red, who has been Luke Skywalker for the past few years, has chosen Darth Vader. My son has chosen the Dark Side. I know. I could read a lot into this but really? I’ve seen him in his Darth costume and it is fer SURE adorable. You can’t be full on Dark Side AND be cute at the same time, so that saves it.

Here is a throw-back from a two years back:

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This post was sponsored by:

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And:

GUILT.

This should be fun! So let’s get started.

Ok, one of my favorite scenes from Star Wars was when Harrison Ford has that cute conversation with the dude on the intercom. I love it because he is SOOOOO cute! The cuteness! The cute swagger! And he fits in his Storm Trooper outfit really well!

Yes, little ones, I am referring to the real Star Wars. The one that I watched in Glenwood Theater in Overland Park, Kansas in 1977. I was 8. Harrison Ford was a bit too old for me. I had feathered bangs, and Glenwood Theater had a chandelier, people. And velvet seats. And a deep red curtain that opened before each showing. It was an EXPERIENCE, y’all.

The other reason I love that scene is that I kinda feel like Han did in that controller room all the time. Sorta, erm, on the edge a bit and also: TOTALLY FAKING IT ALL THE TIME.

So here’s an update on my week:

The gigantic box from Netflix? Remember that?

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Well, it was just a tv. No biggie. Just a gigantic tv. Because, you know, I’M AWESOME.

Here is how my family reacted to this:

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Husband is blurry because I was giggling.

Ok, also: we had Halloween. So we have ONE picture of ONE child. I don’t know why. Just ONE child evidently was photogenic enough (barely, you’ll see) for me to point and click at him.

Here you go:

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Riiiiiight. I know. You can’t see him. Someday I am totally going to get fired for lousy photography. But, also…

(Wait for it…)

“Aren’t you a little short for a storm trooper?”

BOOM. I have been waiting my whole LIFE to be able to channel my inner Leia and say that! And now I can! With a blurry, dark photo of my cute, and short, son!

Oh, and by the way:

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WE WON THE WORLD SERIES. There is such goodness about this I can’t even use words. Well, no, I CAN use words, but they just won’t really do it justice. It is wonderfulness. It is nail biting games and extra innings and Salvie messing with us whenever he talks and stealing home and just a sprinkling of Paul Rudd, for flavor.

Oops, used words. Sorry. Can’t help it.

By now, I bet you’re wondering… where does the guilt part come in?

Well, and also:

I abandoned my child. I KNOW. This post took a rather abrupt turn, didn’t it? We were all happy and celebrating holidays and big screen tv’s and then, WHAMMO.

That’s called a plot twist.

Here’s the deal. My sweet Red, who is wonderful and adorable in every way, is also, well, how should I put this:

Slow. He’s just really slow. He likes to do things slowly. All the things. Eating. Pooping. Walking. It’s all slow.

This totally doesn’t bother me at all.

So, this morning, for some reason, Red really really had a rough time with some basics: I told him to get dressed and I found him, in his underpants, staring out the front door at the sky as if he were contemplating his life choices for his long five years.

Socks. Same problem. Found him upstairs in the train room, just standing there. It was creepy.

Brushing teeth? I don’t even think we got there because we were still stuck at socks. Poor teachers.

Anyhow, finally, I snapped. I uttered these fateful words:

“Red. We are leaving. You have one minute. If you are not ready to go then Blonde and I will have to LEAVE WITHOUT YOU.”

And. Well. To cut the suspense, I’ll just tell you. He got left. We left him. I LEFT him. I took Blonde, grabbed the dog, and walked AWAY FROM MY BABY.

And then, he proceeded to lose his #@!.

But I think he did hurry up a little. He made it to a block from school and I spotted him. He was sobbing and all the mothers of the entire town were surrounding him. I think a few cars had pulled over. Police helicopters were circling overhead and Fox News had been called.

I walked up and said, “He’s fine.” Not the best thing to say. I then explained (because he was NOT fine, but he was “learning a lesson” from his “evil mother” who had to “not relapse because of this morning” and needed to, no matter what, “stick by her words no matter how much it was gonna freak her and the entire community OUT.”)

I explained the situation, and Red headed off, with me behind him. One mom gave me a sympathetic smile, but I swear another one has decided to shadow my house now.

Sigh. I know. All of this kinda puts a pall over the new tv.

Mommies. I’m doing the best I can. We had done the morning dawdle routine just one too many times. I decided to stick to my guns. I just didn’t expect this:

He broke my heart. Seeing him here, all sobbing and sad. I just don’t know. The kid learned a lesson but I did too. If I am going to leave my kid to fend for himself I need to figure out a way to do it with in air surveillance and nerves of steel. As I have neither of these things I am going to try out one of two options:

  1. Get the kid up at 5 am so he will be on time.
  2. Just carry him everywhere.

And that was my morning.

Everything’s fine here. And… How are YOU?

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Happy Halloween and a Guest Post!

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Be my guest.

Guest post today! Squeeee!

One of the BEST parts of my job is meeting other readers and writers from ALL over the universe who actually read Momsie. Amazing, isn’t it?

Let me introduce you to Jen, a great writer, mum, and super auntie, who lives in my beloved UK (I know. I’ve never visited but one can dream.) She is also a techie and a food and crafts writer, and has great ideas to share. Since my idea of crafting for Halloween means drawing on pumpkins with a sharpie (whatever WORKS, ok?), Jen has much better input in this area.

Jen is here today to tell us about how Halloween is “celebrated” over the pond. Enjoy!

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That Moment When Your Child Carves a Pumpkin Better Than You…

It’s a joy to watch your child when they are so dedicated to something. We’ve seen that Lily likes art so my hubby and I let our dear daughter carve some pumpkins with us last year for Halloween.

This year, I’m staying on the sidelines to support her love for all things artsy. I do have some Jack o’ Lantern ideas, and I torture myself more by looking at other cool and cute carved pumpkin creations and then showing them to DD. If only I could do them myself and get them to come out right.

The Typical UK Halloween

For the most part, Halloween celebrations on this side of the world are pretty much the same as anywhere else these days. You’ll see costume parties left, right and centre; there are pumpkin patches; free horror movie screenings for the community; and of course, kids roam around going Trick-or-Treating.

After doing my research with my daughter, I did find out one interesting nugget. The ‘Trick-or-Treat’ tradition began here in the UK! Don’t ask how I didn’t know that. History isn’t my strong point, after all.

A blog I’m following posted some crafts  about Halloween and shared some info about the origin of ‘Trick-or-Treat’. Apparently, in Scottish hundreds of years ago, people used to knock at homes during this season to ask for free food or other valuables. Eventually, the practice evolved into what our children love to do today during every Halloween celebration.

Something that might be more unique in Halloween here, however, is that we have a ‘Mischief Night’ celebration every November 4 wherein people engage in pranks on each other. It’s a lot of fun, but obviously you shouldn’t go overboard just in case someone gets hurt.

People gathered around bonfires, sharing scary stories is also common. Do you know the show “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” That’s the idea, minus the sprinkling of magic powder to make the bonfire flame bigger though.



Hello, pumpkin!



Back to the pumpkins, the only part where I’m sure I can beat Lily is on making pumpkin soup or pie, out of the scraped portions of the vegetable. Not that it’s her job, but come on; you have to let me say “I rule!” once in a while. My hubby is totally awesome at putting together epic decorations and costumes; Lily makes wonderful Jack o’ Lanterns; and me, well, you got to give me something, right?

This year I have the ‘pumpkin and caramel cake’ in my sights. Just you wait, your souls will sing from the heavenly goodness of my culinary treat.

Seriously though, the best thing for me is that we complement each other. It’s what makes the celebration much more special. Getting to watch your loved ones working together, and seeing their joyful faces when we gather around good food are always priceless moments that I will cherish every day of my life.

I believe that’s the whole point. It’s not about the decorations, costumes, and props. It’s not about the parties. It’s about the bond that you strengthen further with your family through every occasion that’s worth truly celebrating. Happy Halloween!

Exclusively written for MomsieBlog.com

by Jen’s a Mom!

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I’m walking the boys home the other day and noticing the trees. All the oranges and reds and yellows. It’s your basic God’s glory kind of material. The usual off-the-hook stuff that He specializes in.

And I’m all:

 

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Prancing home in the leaves, like a happy little Leonardo.

Also, since Halloween is on Monday, we are having one of those “Dress Crazy Every Day Because This Will Help Us Not Do Drugs” weeks at school. Because Halloween is scary, and so are drugs. And dressing up is fun!

Ok, I am not, my friends, providing any snark about this. Ok, maybe just a little, but it’s from MY end, not the kids’. The kids are cute and adorable and yes, we need to tell them about drugs. But, just a note: Sometimes, when I am trying to find the ONE Captain America glove that has curled up in a little ball and is hibernating VERY SUCCESSFULLY in our house, at 6:46 am, and yes, I know, it’s Superhero Day and if a Superhero doesn’t wear his gloves then he’s Captain Loser and the world has lost all meaning… Sometimes? It’s at times like these that I, just for a teensy tiny minute, think something like this:

“I might really like to have some of those drugs right now.”

Irony, eh? It’s here to keep hitting us upside the head every once in a while. Helps us feel alive.

And I know. I’m awful. I promise I won’t take up drugs just because we didn’t get organized enough to find all the Captain America accessories (of which there are more than BARBIE has, for the Love of Thor). That would just be silly. Hugs, not drugs.

ANYHOW. Back to Fall, where we take the Obligatory Pictures of Children in Costumes (these are of Superhero #2, also known as Flash, which is SO not really in his personality profile, but for the time that he did wear the costume, he did actually TRY a few times to be quick while moving at the same time. He ran into a wall. It was endearing.)

I like to call this series:

The Dog Gets Increasingly Embarrassed

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Oh, and there was Crazy Hair Day. Also known as: Spray a lot of Glitter on my Children Day and Hope They Don’t Get Close to An Open Flame.

I took this picture of a rather grumpy Red:

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And I realized something….

He kinda looked like:

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Which, as you KNOW… is part of the cast for this classic:

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So, I am reminded, logically….

CHRISTMAS MUSIC EVE WILL BE HERE IN FOUR DAYS!!!!!! Woo HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Thank you for staying with me through my thought process on this post, which was brought to you by:

  1. Allergy medication
  2. NO other drugs
  3. Possibly a little glitter

 

Merry Christmas Music Eve!!

I’m coming for you, Joshie!

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Let’s Grade Halloween on a Curve

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It’s best to remember here that most of the time, we live in la-la land.

What I mean is, we are always expecting things to go a certain way. And by “we” I think it’s best to just get it out of the way and say, “me.”

Like, I expect to go to the store. Simple enough. It should go like this:

1. Get money.

2. Go to store.

3. Buy stuff.

4. Come home.

 

But INSTEAD, this is what occurs:

1. Money not available because lost wallet.

2. Lost wallet because children. Children move things. However, when “helping look” they move one pillow. One.

3. Um, yelling.

4. Eat popcorn and pickles for lunch because no other food here.

5. Children thrilled. Back to moving all things in the house to wrong places.

6.  Lots of muttering and looking under things for the rest of the afternoon.

7. Wallet found under cat. Must check later if he went online shopping with my Visa again.

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Googling: “World dominashun”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I would like to state for the record that I had the best of intentions with Red’s costume. After much deliberation on his part he final decision for this year was a spider. A SUPER spider. I accepted without hesitation because for two weeks I had to field possibilities such as:

The human heart. With da bentricles!

Maybe a Batman guy? but a BAD one? (Possible, if you counted the costume as poorly made. That’s do-able.)

T-REX EATING SUMTHIN!!! LOTSA BLOOD!

 

We then had to go over this yearly gem of a tedious and horrible rule at our house:  We don’t do spooky. We are unspooky Halloweeners. Life is spooky enough without us putting some fake blood and a machete in the hands of a six year old. We just don’t go there.

This, of course, always merits a fun game of

SPOOKY? NOT SPOOKY?

Wee innocent babies: Der zombies? Spooky?

Momsie: Spooky.

Wee ones: Frankenswine!

Momsie: Spooky! but that’s cute!

Mummies?

Spooky.

Da werenwolves?

Spooky.

Dose things on TV? All the time?

Political candidates?

Yep!

SPOOKY.

 

You get the idea. Once Red finally offered his spider idea, and then followed it up with a full five minute description as how “da spiders? Dey are our FRIENDS! Eating insects, spinning all those webs, dey hardly ever, EVER come outta nowhere and attack, suck the blood right outta you and KILL you!” Very convincing argument.

But then I realized – spiders have, like, a bunch of legs and stuff.  I realized I was once again perilously close to the land of Overzealous Mom Fail. This is a scary place that I tend to visit at least once a month or so, usually around the time of the school fun fair (“Sure! I’ll decorate a cake for the cake walk! No problem!) or for a Mom’s Day Out (“I would LOVE to make four pans of something casseroley and delicious and not at all gluey or seasoned with despair and lack of confidence!”)

The Land of Overzealous Mom Failures is littered with sad Halloween costumes from those of us who know how to use a needle and thread, we just don’t really know how to use them effectively.  And we like shortcuts.

So I have a spider now, with duct-taped legs that thwack limply against my poor son’s “spider adobem” and even the fangs I drew on him are lopsided. If this spider could talk, he would lisp. But who’s to say, spiders don’t lisp? Maybe they do. Or some do. Poor things.  Maybe… I’m the spider whisperer for all spiders with speech impediments. Yea me!

 

 

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*No spiders were harmed in the making of this post. In fact, I would like to go one step further and suggest that I am now the protector of all spiders who are “special.” And my spider is adorable. AND VERY DARN SPECIAL!

** Couldn’t tell you why Blonde wanted one leg up, one down on his alien costume. It’s one of his pieces of flare, I guess.

 

Happy Belated Halloween, ya’ll.

I will make homemade Halloween costumes until they rip the glittered rik-rak and googley eyes out of my cold, tired hands.