A Blind Guy, a Robot, and Darth Vader Walk Into a Movie…

Guys, Netflix has SO much awesome stuff right now. I have already talked to you about my love for Moana (well, the boys love it too, but mine is a deeper kind of love. I’m in a serious relationship with the song “You’re Welcome.” It especially makes me happy when the occasion merits an actual “You’re welcome” and I get to break into song. My children so love this. It’s like when they fight and I start with the “Let it Go” business. Big showstopper, that one.)

And then, there’s Sing, and I’m humming, “I’m Still Standing” on the daily as well. It’s a good Mom song. By about five pm, we moms all feel a bit triumphant that we’re still vertical.

There’s so much singing going on over here. I’m a regular Julie Andrews, I tell you. But, shouting “I’m SHINY!!” tends not bring my children in concert with me, with matching outfits and Austrian accents. In fact, most times when I start crooning they sort of sidle away with a pained expression, muttering, “Always with the singing.”  But, you know, one day they might join me and we will enter a contest and climb some mountains to flee the Nazis. Don’t even get me started on this possibility.

Anyhow. This month, I am going to give you a non-singing option to dial up for  movie night because OH MY GOODNESS IT IS REALLY GOOD.

I am a total Star Wars snob, ok? The first rule of Star Wars is that we don’t talk about the Star Wars prequels. When Jar Jar speaks we turn away.

And, we actually straight up sobbed in the theater when Han died. (By “we” I do mean me – but third person sounds cooler.) My husband actually had to put his arm around me. And then, I couldn’t speak of it for two days afterwards.

Trust me, the Star Wars is strong with this one.

So, when Rogue One came out, as a “Star Wars story,” I was skeptical. Would it just be another weak CGI’d mess with whiny characters and costumes that are more interesting than the actors? (Yes, Princess Ami-blah blah. Your hair was better than your acting).

Rogue One is so good. It’s sooooo good. It has STUFF in it that just… is SO GOOD.

Is that not a really good review? “It is so good!” They should have used this in their press release:

star_wars_anthology__rogue_one_by_dan_zhbanov-d9b0ezn-661x1024.pngA

The hubs and I had a movie night. There was popcorn. A blind guy took down nearly twenty storm troopers because he can.

A robot stole all the best lines.

And then, there is Vader.

Chills. People. He’s in there. I might have squealed a little.

The movie has lots of neato Easter egg for the nerds who are always on the prowl about this sort of thing. Not me, of course.

But… doesn’t this look familiar?? I mean, HOW COOL IS THAT! (tiny nerd squeak)

 

RogueOneEEYavin4.jpg

I’m gonna tell it to you true – the good guys get hit hard in this movie. Rogue One has really intense battle scenes and some hard moments when the good guys sacrifice their lives. It’s a hard message. Love, bravery, sacrifice, family, courage. Truth. War. Faith. It’s all in there.

But, the good guys keep trying. They keep fighting the darkness, even when the odds are very high that they won’t make it. Very high.

As a mother of two boys in 2017? I need this message. I really, really do.

Save the rebellion.

Save the dream.

StreamTeam_Red&White_BlackBackground

As a StreamTeam blogger, I get to watch Netflix and chat about it. It’s a great gig.

Advertisements

Take Heart: Family Game Night Will Save Us All

stock-vector-vintage-summer-postcard-vector-illustration-106391222.jpg

We have just finished our first day of summer at this house. Here are some highlights:

1. One child woke up at 6:40 am. Never in the history of forever has he woken up at 6:40. But today, he did. I heard him start to thump sleepily down the stairs just as I sat down with my coffee and bible. Impeccable timing.
2. The other kid slept until 9 am and then demanded to know what he had missed, like we had all jetted off to Vegas while he was gone.
3. Boredom is the great leveler. Both boys found themselves tortured with boredom by 10:00 am, and were forced to ACTUALLY PLAY A GAME together.
4. I’m not gonna make it to June, y’all. Pray for me.

This whole summer thing is interesting. We love it, in theory. You know, pools and sun and trotting around in sleeveless tops and fifty-thousand baseball practices, and so on.
But, in reality? My arms are still floppy from the baby weight (the baby is now seven) and the sun gives you wrinkles.

I don’t think my children think this way. They are not concerned about the wrinkles. Bless their unwrinkled hearts.

Red and Blonde are of the opinion that every summer day should be Big Fun. It is my job to vanquish this dream, and I think today did the job.

However, there is hope. There is something called:

Family Game Night!!!!!!!! Woop Woop!!!!

Here are the rules:

  1. Dinner is popcorn, apples, cheese, and milk. Sometimes I totally go all out and make chocolate milk. This momma plays hard.
    2. Games are selected based upon playing time (cannot exceed bedtime) and are nixed if there was crying the last time they were played (Monopoly. It’s always Monopoly)
    3. Dad has to play. He is the comedic relief. He is always comedic relief.
    4. The cat will try to lay on the game board. This is essential.
    5. We stay up late (because we always break rule #2), laugh a lot, and forget that earlier that day one kid tried to teach the other kid how to burp. (Oh, yes, they know how to burp, but now it can be cued.)
    6. There will always be a Royals baseball game on the radio. If the Royals are not playing, then we are allowed to cue up our funkadelic Toby Mac station on Pandora, but there is always a Royals game on. Always. It’s magic.

I know Family Game Night is not a new idea, in terms of fun family activities. I know it’s not really imaginative or has cute, Pinterested crafts involved, or involves a trip somewhere fabulous.

But that’s just the point. It’s simple. We drag out our Jenga and Life, and the other games that we forgot we had, vote on our favorites, and play. Democracy in action!

And, did I mention? It’s really fun.
The one thing I will never forget about this weekly tradition is that there is never any clamoring for screen time, or tablets, or anything, essentially, that has buttons to push. Well, we play Outburst Kids, and that has buttons, but you know what I mean. Our kids would rather just be with US than anything else. We are even cooler than Lego Star Wars on the Wii.

Who knew? I am cooler than Lego Leia who jumps straight up a lot, and can never shoot anything with her light saber except the useless potted plants*

Last week’s Game Night was a rousing marathon of Sorry, which lasted about five hours. Sorry has an apt name, my husband and I have decided. As in, “This game will last about five hours. Sorry.”

f71ac92aff13b381d971bf475413a80f.jpg

Well, of COURSE the British made up this game. So polite. So apologetic. And, evidently, with lots and lots of time on their hands.

Finally, FINALLY, at the end of all the Sorry-ing, our youngest, Red won the game. He popped up, wiggled his hips in a Macarena sort of victory dance, and I considered throwing the yellow flag, calling a penalty on the play for celebration. But, it was cute so I let it pass. And as we finally pried the children away from the popcorn and mess, and managed to get them both into bed without too much chaos, Blonde reached out and grabbed my neck.

“I love you, Momma,” he said. And all was right in the land.

“I love you too, sweetie.”

“And next time I want to play Uno.”
I twitched a little. Uno is also the game called, “Wait, What? Whose Turn is It?” because it makes my synapses itch. All that switching around! Reverses! Skipping players! This kind of stuff is not good for a woman who has been multitasking all day and her brain is tired.

pureflix2.jpg
By the way, sometimes we do watch screens. We are great fans of a movie night, especially if it is also paired with popcorn for dinner. If you’re interested in a great Christian movie resource, I recommend Pure Flix. It’s got a kajillion movies, shorts, and shows for the whole family. Also, Pureflix is partnering with Convoy of Hope, helping to feed Americans in need. It’s a great cause.
* It’s possible that Princess Leia only hits plants because her handler, Momsie, CANNOT PLAY THIS GAME. IT’S HARD. User error. It is what it is.

Leia.jpg

I kill plants, not people.

This was not a sponsored post. All opinions are my own. Guys, you know I’ll tell it to you true. 🙂

This is Marriage. Episode #3446

 

c02574ceaf39ccef8fc2f01ca96db3fb

The other day, I was making dinner, and I remembered a conversation I had with my husband a long time ago, like Pre-Kids. Way back in the day when we actually watched movies past 9 pm without falling asleep.

The recollection forced me to stop chopping vegetables into the size of dust particles so my children would not spot them, and just for a minute I reveled in two things:

  1. My husband is the bees’ knees. I really have no clue what this means but bees are cute,  for the most part, and so is my husband. So there you go.
  2. I am amazed I remember this conversation. I mean, I don’t remember where I leave my cell phone at least once a day. And this is when I am talking on the phone.

Anyhow, since the conversation was so fantastic, I decided to share it with you, my darling readers*. It is just that fabulous. In fact, whenever the husband annoys me because he keeps lecturing me about the way the bowls go in the dishwasher and also likes to bring up filing taxes just as I am slipping off to sleep, I will dial up this moment in life with us. It is just that good.

So, here you go. *drum roll*

My Husband and I Talk About the Movie Pretty Woman

Me: Ohhhh!! I love this movie!

Him: Uh huh. Can I just-

Me: DON’T. YOU. TOUCH. THAT REMOTE. WE. ARE. WATCHING. THIS.

Him: Dear, when you use your Satan voice like that, but also cuddle up against me I get all confused. WHOA, those are weird boots.

Me: What? You like those? Why? Huh? I tell you what, just don’t watch this part. I’ll let you know when the boots are gone.

Him. Is that Sandra Bullock? Why is she blonde?

Me: Shhhh. This is when he shows up.

Him: Who? Is that Brad Pitt. What? WHAT? Why have I been wrong for the last three exchanges here? Can you please just write about me in your blog with a little more, uh, polish? Ok?

Me: Yes darling.

Him: Hey, it’s the dude from Roadhouse!

Me: You’re not giving me a lot to work with here.

Him: I want popcorn. Do you want popcorn?

Me: Wait! The dental floss scene! This is when he really gets a peek at the real Vivian.

Him: What? What is she gonna do with dental floss?  I thought this was Sandra Bullock? And he already got a peek. She needs to put on a jacket. Maybe a sweater.

Me: Dear. This is like the best love story ever. She wants the fairy tale.

Him: You know, me too. In fact, I wake up every morning with precisely that thought in my head.

Me: I want the fairy tale!

Him: Dear. She’s a prostitute.

Me: But WITH A HEART OF GOLD.

And then he got up and made some popcorn.

 

The End.

* It’s possible Momsie is having a slow day. This is all I could come up with. Pretty-woman-quiz-holding-shot

 

 

Furry Friends, My Marriage, and Netflix Streamteam

 

Netflix_StreamTeam_Badge

I would like to thank Netflix for the wonderfulness of my marriage. (I was going to say, “…for saving my marriage” but that’s not even slightly true as our marriage status is always at, say, a 7.5 on a scale of 1-10. I am only including this disclaimer because my mother reads my posts and she’ll be calling me later if there is a whiff of trouble brewing. WE’RE FINE, MOM.)

Anyhow.

My POINT is that Netflix has added much FLAIR to an already very happy and content marriage. And by FLAIR, I mean,

Screenshot 2015-01-21 18.18.52

ALL HAIL KING JULIEN!!!

Ok, now before you get any weird ideas, let me explain.

(The lawyer has once again interjected that NO one HAD any weird ideas until I mentioned them. That, perhaps, I am the only one WITH weird ideas. I asked him to leave.)

Friday night at our house is pizza and movie night. We make pizza with teensy bits of green stuff in the sauce (VICTORY) and then we watch some mind numbing movie with Thomas the Incapable, or Christian Vegetables, or some such (FAILURE).  So I sit, eat my pizza, knit, fold laundry, multitask out the wazoo (painful) in some way, and the babies zone out in that toddler way while Thomas yet again proves that he is a bit of a loser who never listens, and he so needs to be scrapped.

Lately? I have found myself a bit… bored. I’m tired of laundry. I’m tired of knitting. And we have watched EVERY Veggie Tales movie in our cue – we need something NEW, ya’ll. Don’t get me wrong; I love vegetables who want to teach us about Jesus. I really do. But I know all the lines. ALL of ’em.

We need something new.

And in pranced King Julien! Thank you, little furry lemur guy with the funky accent! First of all, you SAVED our New Years Eve with the King Julien countdown (BRILLIANT, NETFLIX) so we got to take the babies upstairs at nine pm and call it a New Year (although, I know, Blonde did smell a rat on this one and kept pointing out “dat it’s NOT midnight! WHY are we going to bed and IT’S NOT MIDNIGHT, MOMMY?”   I answered him, “Because it’s against the law for six year olds to stay up past ten. If you stay up past ten, a police officer will come and knock on the door and interrogate you. Which hurts a bit.” This caused him to blink at me, but since he will be studying for the bar soon, he decided to not argue with the law.)

I do realize that flat out lying to my children has a statute of limitations. It’s a risky move. But I will go there. There was chocolate pie (the non sharing kind) to be eaten, and a movie to watch, and cuddles with the hubs – so I lied. You don’t know my life.

King Julien has enough sass to actually make me stop multitasking for a few minutes and WATCH. And for that, I thank you, Netflix.

Because here’s what happens when I multitask:

1. My brain gets tired. Tired brain = Brain wants bed.

2. Hubs ends up watching ESPN by himself. Nothing good can come from that.

3. Another opportunity for meaningful communication over which movie to choose, or at least a decent foot rub, is lost.

4. Our marriage stays at the 7.5 rating, instead of a solid 8, where it should be.*

 

So now? Movie night is SAVED! Hurrah!

And also, this happened:

Photo on 1-21-15 at 6.11 PM #2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t be distracted by the demon cat with glowing eyes behind me. He’s just jealous because I received my Official Adventures of Puss In Boots Netflix Calender. THESE ARE THE REASONS I BLOG, PEOPLE. SWAGGGGGG.

I am not sharing this little gem. It’s going in MY office, where I can stare at Boots’ furry cuteness and try to stay organized at the same time.

So, I am grateful, Netflix, for my 7.5 of my marriage AND that I can keep track of my appointments and meetings (for the most part because a lot of times I don’t look at calendars. I know. They’re supposed to be helpful tools. Calenders are hard.)

Thanks, Netflix!

 

*Why, you ask, only an 8? Why not, say, a 9? Or, even a 9.5?

Well. A few reasons.

1. I married an engineer. Engineers are rather, uh, shall we say, Spock-ish.

2. I am not Spock-ish. I am loosey goosey. Artsy Fartsy. Feely Weely.

3. That whole “Marriage is not all about you; it’s a refinement; learn to forgive; sacrifice; blah diddly blah blah blah” stuff they talk about in all those marriage books and the bible? Yep. Alas. True.

So, marriage is the cheap toilet paper of life, at times. But for us? only 2% of the time.

LOOK I DID MATH! Maybe I am rather Spocky after all.

 

spock_again____by_spockhorror-d4w1gtu

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And, did you know? Netflix also carries ALL of the Star Trek episodes. All of ’em. I should know.

Because: Marriage = Big Fat Sacrifices. Blah blah blah.