I think that if you are going to train to be a Navy Seal then:
1. Good for you. It’s a noble profession, taking care of all of us. I am grateful.
2. Your training should include coaching T-ball.
We had our second game last night. The difference between our first and our second game was quite HUGE. For example: yes, we are still fighting over the ball in the outfield, BUT, there was no crying this time.
Because, as you know, there is no crying in baseball.
There is, however:
1. Dirt sculptures. One child made a bust of Abraham Lincoln. I swear.
2. A total disregard for short-term memory
3. Random Michael Jackson moves at the pitcher’s mound
4. Obsessive compulsive disorder when it comes to getting the ball FIRST. Even if you hit it.
5. One kid actually hit the ball off the T towards the BACKSTOP. I have never seen that before. Bit of a plot twist.
6. Some moments of wonder and grace.
Last night, a kiddo from the other team hit the ball. One of our Purple cats, ran up, corralled the ball into his glove, and proceeded to run it to first, and lo, kid was OUT.
I nearly cried. It was magical.
(Disclaimer: the kid wasn’t REALLY out. In T-Ball we have “Rules.” Like: We let them stay on base in T-ball. We also let them try to hit like waaaay more than three times, for obvious reasons, and sometimes, we even let them go use the potty right in the middle of an inning. We operate by necessity. I mean, YOU tell a five-year old he he’s out at first. Try it. Go ahead. It will eat your soul.)
Course, then that kid almost took my husband’s head off with the ball when he threw it home, but the ARM on that kid! And it just woulda been a mild concussion, at that. No problem. The hubster has had, like, twenty of them already, so he would have been fine…
He tells me they were all sports related.
Huh. I just realized – all those concussions…
Sure explains a lot.
Our team? We are so ready for the championship.
There is a championship, right? Right?
Because, also this:
The last kid in the lineup gets to run through the bases because, well, it’s kinda sad to make him just stand on first and change out the inning. All anti-climatic and stuff. Everybody knows five year olds want drama. So, the last kid, who I SWEAR IS CHARLIE BROWN Y’ALL I AM NOT KIDDING, is now kinda convinced he is the best player ever because he at this game he is the HOME RUN KING.
He hit a wobbly grounder to second, and proceeded to circle the bases, arms raised high, nodding to his fans, very cocky, very Lorenzo Cain. I think he even tried to slide into home. Not sure, because he ran so slowly the other team was already to bat and I couldn’t see for sure… but I do think he tried it. It is possible his slide ended about two feet BEFORE the plate,
But seriously, IT WAS STILL VERY VERY COOL.
We are going all the way people!
This cat is not an actual player on our team. That would be weird, wouldn’t it?
But, he sure has great form.