This post is brought to you today because of Mamalode, one of my favorite mom mags!!
But, really? Mamalode has a… *furtive whisper* a potty mouth.
Now, right from the start, I always feel like I gotta apologize for the saucy language, y’all. It’s my mom’s fault.
When I was a kid, my sweet, totally angelic* mother would occasionally TRY, to the best of her abilities, to utter a bad word, and it would go like this:
Mom, frustrated about something:
“Well. This fiddlesticks. This was just working yesterday. I know because I used it.” Deep sigh. Looks around. “Well. This is just unacceptable. I mean… (jiggles handle on whatever it is) this is just really… I just have to say…” Big long silence followed by more sighs.
“Ok, I know it’s NOT ok, to talk like this, and I just am really, really sorry, but I just have to say…”
My sister and I are so poised and anxious for her to blurt it out that the stress is making us swear a lot. But inwardly, of course.
“I am sorry. I really am. But this just is, well, you know…”
“MOM, PLEASE. JUST SAY IT. WE CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! SAY IT!”
Sniff. “It’s just a *teensy tiny whisper voice” damn nuisance.”
And we can breathe again.
“I am so sorry! I know! Bad language and all! What is the world coming to!” and she grabs a hand towel and starts cleaning something.
I won this award (See below) because I am! I AM! I am a Badass Mom!!
I am just gonna OWN IT! That’s right, Mother Forker!!!
Oh, I am so sorry, I got out of control there. I suddenly have a weird desire to go grab a hand towel and clean something…
Want to know more? Click here.
Thank you, Mamalode! You are the fracking cherry on the flipping cake of my fudgetastic day!
I am curious, what are your favorite non swearing words? Just to add to my repertoire? I need some new ones, badly.
*When my mom reads this? She’s gonna snort and say, “Angelic, my a$$.” I know her.