When Life Hands You Lemons, Make a Tasteful Centerpiece. That’s What I Do.

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Hipster cat. Just put a tiny little glue gun in his hands and he’ll make fifty thousand quaint little catnip toys.**

This post is dedicated to all of y’all who have an entire closet, no, I daresay, a ROOM dedicated to crafting.

Sigh. You know who you are.

Scene 1:

Early November, in Hobby Lobby (cue angel music because that place is like.. I don’t know. The doors just whoosh open and I breathe in deeply all the eucalyptus from the fake flowers* section… It’s… just happiness. Happiness and baskets! And they’re always ON SALE!  I want ALL the baskets!)

Me: Hmmm. Here’s all this burlap. It’s really cute in a hipster, scratchy kinda way… I should make a burlap wreath for my front door. Oh and ornaments! Maybe I should make an ornament for the Sunday School teachers! Out of burlap! And bible verses that are decoupaged onto little hand carved crosses!  And somehow I have got to get chalkboard paint in on the game here! I don’t know how, but I’ll find a way!

Scene 2:

Late-ish December. On couch. No pine scent. My dog is lying on me and he got into the garbage earlier today, so it’s definitely not pine scented around here. Cat has found burlap and made it into a sort of bed for him, because he is a cat. Things come in the house and he must sniff delicately at them for forty-five minutes and then plop down on them. It’s what he does.

He is a pain. But really? I think he’s just grumpy lately because burlap is itchy. Karma, cat.

Me: Hmmm. I think I better go buy the Sunday School teachers a Whitman’s sampler.

Boom.

That, my friends, is a Merry Christmas.

*Uh, Hobby Lobby would like to gently remind me, it’s silk flowers. Silk. They don’t use the term “fake” as it makes the flowers insecure.

**Paws. Hipster cat has paws. Not hands.

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