Linking up with my happy place,Five Minute Friday today.
Ok, bear with me. It’s gonna be a bumpy flight.
I have had insomnia for the past, well, seems like forever now. On and off all summer. But the last week has been the worst. I have tried all sorts of remedies: melatonin, sleepytime tea, so much sleepytime that I am SLOSHING before bed. Lots of soft music. No screen time. Copious reading of things all soft and lovely… And the bible. I hate to say it, but a good read of Leviticus and I am usually nodding off all over the place. I know. That makes me sound rather unspiritual, and shallow. But good heck. I am TIRED so we’re keeping it real.
What better time, when so tired you are starting to see spots, to be real?
Lack of sleep has a variety of results. Let me share them with you.
- Momsie become unnaturally ferocious. Like, really, really cranky.
- She forgets things. Like where her keys are and how to feed her children lunch.
- She also feels dreadful and achy. Like her whole body just is UP and QUITTING this nonsense.
- Then, the wonderfullness that is MomGuilt comes up and pokes at her, hissing things like, “Feed your children, woman! And, for Pete’s sake, get a bra on! And what is UP with the laundry room situation? It looks like a college dorm room in there! DOOM and GLOOM, Momsie! You are a MESS!”
I remember once, my husband, Mr. Smartie Engineer, telling me about flight. He has actually flown a plane before, which gives him total street cred in this situation. He said something like this:
“For the plane to fly, it needs LIFT true. Of course. That is a given. But it also has to have DRAG. Without DRAG, the plane would just go all willy nilly all over the place.”
Ok, it’s possible he didn’t use the actual words “willy nilly.” But you get my point.
This non sleeping thing? It’s a total pain and I do need to work on it. But yet, it has done something good.
It has sat me down. Last night it kept me still and staring out at a tree and some stars and guess what I did?
I prayed. For like a long time.
I know. This TOTALLY makes up for the Leviticus comment, right? So spiritual, that Momsie!
But really, prayer for me is a tricky thing. I keep doing it, yes, but a lot of times it ends up being All About Me, and also, God Why Aren’t You Fixing This Right Now?, and you know how that goes. So last night I just went through every possible person I could think of, and I prayed for them.
And people, if you don’t know, you better believe Hillary and Donald were in there. Along with our veterinarian (no idea why, but he was in my head so there you go) and our church, and a lot of people IN our church, and our weird neighbors and that one lady that doesn’t seem to like me much and my husband and my husband’s HUGE family and so on.
We need the drag to experience the lift. That’s what I learned at three am last night.
Also this: the FIRST thing I thought when I saw “Lift” as the theme? A bra. Yep. Aren’t you glad I went with option two?
Lift and separate, ladies!
Sorry you’ve been struggling with insomnia- that is no fun. It’s great that you are able to see something good come from it and that you managed to slow down and spend some time praying but I hope you manage to get better sleep this week.
Ugh insomnia is the worst especially when you have to care for small people. I feel like there is so much unpacking one could do with the concept of lift and drag. Everything really is about counterbalance. You’ve definitely got me thinking. Visiting from fmf.
Insomnia is blah, especially when you have an unnatural fear of the dark and God combining to get you that you just lay in one position, like fetal, telling God: nothing to be afraid, dark is not dark to you… And you nod off to sleep and wake up remembering another dream about being in a hospital with a snake wrapped around you.. it is weird I tell you, WEIRD.
I shall pray you get some good sleep and you know memory back 😉 and if you think of me at 3am, pray for a no go remake of Snakes on a plane (never seen and is it really called that?) to Snakes on a Body 😟😣
D, your words have meant so much to me… I am in KC visiting family and have thought of our walks home from SME so often. Hope you are well. Love, Brooke Spencer Banuelos
Oh Brooke! I just love you. I wish I was in KC to give you a hug – so I send you one via Momsie.:)