My Roomba. Tales from the Edge.

Well. It finally happened. An appliance in our house decided to have a more interesting life than I do.


My husband, aka He Who Means Well, set up the Roomba app on my phone. Thus, I am constantly informed about our Roomba’s whereabouts and also, thusly, how it is also going full Fast the the Furious in our house.

I’m jealous. I’m jealous of a vacuum

So, everything’s fine here. Really. We’re in the thick of summer. It was 102 degrees yesterday and that was fun. I have been informed that going to the pool is no longer an option because it “feels like everybody peed in it” and that’s a valid point.

Also, the most interesting thing that has happened to me lately is that we lost one of my husband’s gadgets and it was driving me crazy because I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE I PUT IT and it wasn’t there. This happens about once a week. I see one of the husband’s 3,457 gadgets that resides in this house, in a place where it Does Not Belong. I put it Where It Belongs because the answer to ALL of life’s questions is (say it with me now):


But when I returned later to That Place… it was gone. And then the universe tilted a little and I felt like I was in one of those scary movies where you think you’re at home but really you’re in some scary alternative universe where everyone is evil and horrifying and night lights disappear.

Well… THEN (I am so happy if you are still actually reading this. A post about a night light). I FOUND IT! I found the light! And I kind of half-squealed and shimmied for a minute, and then, as I so often do: I looked for outside validation.

I texted the husband. And this happened:

Screen Shot 2019-07-19 at 12.21.26 PM.png

Husband, please.

I am surrounded by Roomba’s hanging off of cliffs and children escalating their daily chore reminders (see below) and all I get is a THUMB’S UP?

In all the emojis, the thumb’s up is the “Well bless your heart” of life.

Me? I would like a parade.

Things are going fine here, though. End of summer and all. We’re all doing fine. Just fine.

Here’s the daily chore chart, to further illustrate:


It’s good to know that even in their chores, my sweet cherubs are willing to make it fun. Creepy, too. But fun. Always a good combo.

Also: The husband would like me to clarify that it was a READING LIGHT, not a NIGHT LIGHT. There is, as he has adamantly stated, a BIG HUGE DIFFERENCE.

I told him that both items could still be put where the sun doesn’t shine but then felt very sorry for saying that. So then I did this:


This post was brought to you by:

Marriage: Keeping Passive-Aggression Alive Since the Dawn of Time.

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