Yea… No. I’m not really gonna go there. It is, what my husband calls, a third rail issue.
“Third rail?” I asked. (Context: we were arguing about salsa. It’s what we do).
“Yep. Third rail. Like the rail in transit that if you touch you just, you know, explode? Go poof? So, it means it’s an issue that is so hot that you just DON’T go there” (and then he gesticulates like this:
…because he is very adamant about the whole DON’T GO THERE thing. Also, he has an inner-referee problem which is kinda like an inner ear thing, only much more irritating to the people around him. )
Also, yes, his version of exploding means “going poof.”
Anyhow. I’m not going there.*
Except this. All I’m gonna say is this:
- J lo is fifty. I, too, am fifty. There are some comparisons there.
- I did ask my husband if I was his J Lo. He just nodded. He didn’t actually affirm this out loud and this is AFTER I had told him he was way cuter than Alex Rodriguez and he STILL SAID NOTHING. Just NODDED. The monster.
- If I am his J Lo then that means I should be making much more money. Also, I see hair extensions in my future.
- Shakira does, in fact, have hips that don’t lie. They also don’t wear a lot of clothing.
- Demi Lovato, Jennifer Lopez, and Shakira all don’t drink. Rock on, sisters.
So, in sum: I am J Lo, but with pants on, and I am vastly underpaid.
That’s the total takeaway I got from the halftime show.
*In essence? When one says, “That’s all I’m going to say about that” they are in fact not going to follow their own instructions. This pairs well with when one says, “I’m just gonna say this.” In my vast amount of time on this earth, I have learned that when people say, “I’m just gonna say this,” they, in fact, never do.
And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.
Those of you out there who are PuppyBowl fans will enjoy this, because here’s our puppy! Let me introduce you to:
Rey Skywalker Bowman
Aka Miss Floofy Goodness. You’re welcome.
ALSO HOLY MAHOMEY DID YOU KNOW WE WON THE SUPERBOWL?
WE DID! WE DID WIN THE SUPERBOWL!
And since sports is not really my thing, as you can read about here, that’s all I’m going to say about that.