Royals, We are Watching You.


Famous moments in sports history:

  • The USA believes in miracles and beats the Russians in the Olympics.
  • We totally tick off Hitler with Jesse Owens.
  • Lou Gehrig brings us to tears with his “Luckiest Man” speech.
  • Pretty much anything that Michael Jordan on the court.  Also: Space Jam.
  • I am completely addicted to Royals baseball.

For those of you who know me, you are aware of a few things about how sports and I get along:

In the past, I only participated in track. Why? Track has very little equipment. Equipment meant falling over or getting hit by things. I don’t like that. I’ve never really been the same since the killer tether ball incident of 1977.

But lately, I have fallen rather in love with this little team of ours, The Kansas City Royals. Surely, you have heard of them?

Ok, Boys in Blue, here’s the thing:

I have watched you, surrounded by two small squirmy boys, for at least six years now. I got roped into this action because I married a total sports nutball. This is the beauty of marriage.

My boys have grown up with you, and they watch your behavior. Your passion. They watch how much fun you are having.

They are learning from you.

I thank you for bringing my family together and making us a team, watching your team. It is magical. Win or lose, we are yours. I don’t care if you go into the next game and lose all feeling in your extremities and thus play like my boys’ tball team circa 2014.

(Ok, that’s not true. I care. Just a little bit. A skotch. A teensy bit.)

Oh, and Eric, did you know? We named our dog after you. He’s scruffy, the great and mighty Hoz. The name fits him. He plays outfield rather well, but we’re still trying to teach him about not peeing on the bases. This seems to not be a problem for your team. Yet another reason why we love you guys!

You just go ahead and do what you do best: play your heart out, and we will watch with glee. We’ll holler for Hosmer’s starter-mullet, and that every pitcher on the planet wants to try and walk Lo Cain. They can’t help it – he’s scary that way. We will soak up the relentless artistry that is Cueto’s pitching. Oh, and we will wait with Julianna Zobrist and plan baby names (Homer, of course).

And we will pray for Volquez. We are all praying for Volquez.

Thank you.


We are Forever Royal.

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